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An Open Letter To The Michigan Wolverines

By Wyatt Earp | September 14, 2008

Dear Sir or (considering the way you have been playing) Madam,

I realize that the addition of a new head coach can throw a college football program into disarray. And although I am a huge fan of Michigan athletics, I am not a Kool-Aid drinker. I knew this would be a difficult year, and I did not expect you folks to compete for the Big Ten championship.

That being said, I was dismayed when you lost to Utah. Losing to the Utes? Isn’t that a joke from My Cousin Vinny? After the initial shock, I moved on, thinking it wasn’t a big deal since you only lost by two points.

In week two, you looked a little better, but not much. Sure, we beat Miami-Ohio, but the final score of 16-6 didn’t exactly make me scream the results from the highest mountain. You should have squashed that team by 21 points, but what’s done is done.

And then, there was yesterday:

SOUTH BEND, Ind. — The University of Michigan football team spotted Notre Dame a 21-0 lead four minutes into the game and had a pivotal fumble returned for a touchdown in the fourth quarter on a day when the Wolverines turned the ball over six times, fumbling seven times in a rain-soaked 35-17 loss Saturday (Sept. 13) at Notre Dame Stadium. (H/TMGoBlue)

Let me ‘splain something to you. I despise Notre Dame. I hate them almost as much as I hate Penn State – who ran up the score on Syracuse yesterday and, by the way, won’t be playing a good team until Week 5 this season. The Fighting Irish are not a good team. I figured this would be a decent, even matchup.

Boy, was I wrong.

You folks lost by a score of 35-17, but it should have been much worse. This quarterback-by-committee is a disgrace: pick a QB and end it! The defense couldn’t stop a team of blind, crippled, anorexic nuns, and the special teams looks like it is comprised of special-ed players. Come on, guys! Show some pride!

The only thing I wanted this season was a win against Notre Dame and a win against Penn State. You could have lost every other game and I wouldn’t have cared less. You blew the Fighting Irish opportunity, and I doubt you’ll beat the Nittany Lions. It’s damned frustrating.

I’ll keep cheering, because I’m not a bandwagon jumper, but things at the Big House have to start improving . . . and fast.

Topics: Wolverines | 11 Comments »

11 Responses to “An Open Letter To The Michigan Wolverines”

  1. Deanna Says:
    September 14th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    I feel your pain. I can’t stand Notre Dame either and I am an SEC girl!

  2. Morgan Says:
    September 14th, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    At a time like this, consider this bit advice my dad told me: Don’t bet against the Irish. There are a lot of fans of other colleges who have learned that the hard way, too.

  3. RT Says:
    September 14th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Don’t worry. They’ve got a secret weapon they’ve yet to use. Trust me. :)

  4. Trixie Says:
    September 14th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    I’ve got tickets to Penn State-Michigan. I hope Joe Pa decides to run up the score against them, too.

    No offense, Wyatt.

  5. Peakah Says:
    September 14th, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    I’ll be a Michigan fan the day they play Penn St for what they did to my ‘Cuse team… argh…

  6. Cowboy Blob Says:
    September 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    Go, Nits, Go! [Waves ass in Wyatt's general direction] Go, Nits, Go!

  7. Ky Person Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 5:36 am

    Poor Wyatt. My dear father graduated from Notre Dame a long time ago – so long ago that he remembers them filming Knute Rocke – All American on campus.
    Our whole family are all dedicted fans of Notre Dame even then they suck like they did last year.

    They may still let us down, but for now – in your face Michigan fan boy!!!

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 8:30 am

    Deanna – Go Auburn Tigers!

    Morgan – I didn’t bet the game – I never bet when one of my faves is involved – but it still made me angry.

    RT – Then they better unveil it soon!

    Trixie – Remember that the next time some PSU fan says that they’re “all that’s good in college football.” Joe Pa runs it up against the high school teams he plays every year, so he’s no better than anyone else.

    Peak – They ran it up, and they’re the first ones to complain when someone does it to them.

    Cowboy Blob – Yes. Go! Straight to Hell!

    Ky person – Enjoy it whole you can. The Irish are still a fraud team this year. Of course, they’re still better than the Wolverines.

  9. USA_Admiral Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 10:58 am

    It is going to be a long season.

  10. Deanna Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    AUBURN??? Hot water! Alcohol! Sanitizer! Detox! No self respecting person cheers for Auburn?!?


  11. Curtis Lowe Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Wait ’til you come down here to play the Buckeyes :) And we stink!