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Philly Columnist: We Don’t Deserve July 4th

By Wyatt Earp | July 3, 2008

That’s right, kids. You see, Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Chris Satullo (left) thinks that you do not deserve to celebrate your country’s 232nd birthday tomorrow. And why does this pompous liberal buffoon think that? Because he believes that today’s America is the worst country on earth.

(Before you read the article, you should know this: Satullo is the former editorial page editor of the Inky. But I am sure his liberal bias never made its way onto the pages of this fine publication.)

Put the fireworks in storage.

Cancel the parade.

Tuck the soaring speeches in a drawer for another time.

This year, America doesn’t deserve to celebrate its birthday. This Fourth of July should be a day of quiet and atonement.

For we have sinned.

We have failed to pay attention. We’ve settled for lame excuses. We’ve spit on the memory of those who did that brave, brave thing in Philadelphia 232 years ago.

The America those men founded should never torture a prisoner.

The America they founded should never imprison people for years without charge or hearing.

The America they founded should never ship prisoners to foreign lands, knowing their new jailers might torture them. (The Philadelphia Inquirer)

Blah, blah, blah. If I may quote Jules from Pulp Fiction, “Well then, allow me to retort.”

1. Read your history Chris – if that is your real name. The Revolutionary War was chock full of terrible, terrible acts, committed by both the British and the Colonists. In fact, each side had – on more than one occasion – rushed the enemy and bayoneted them as they flew a white flag.

2. Re-read your history. Abraham Lincoln – one of our greatest Presidents, and a demigod to you liberals – suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War. You may want to look up the term “habeas corpus” in a legal dictionary.

3. America on its worst day is still better than 99.9% of the other countries on Earth on their best day. If it wasn’t, you and many of your ilk would be packing your bags and heading off to Cuba or another one of those loser countries. And have you checked our border situation recently? People are literally dying in their effort to get inside the United States. Why is that? They aren’t coming for the intellect of our terrific newspaper columnists!

I could go on and on, but why waste my breath? The radical Left hates this country, and facts will do nothing to change their simple little minds. Is our country perfect? Hell no. Is it the best country on the face of the earth? Absolutely.

And I am proud of it.

Topics: Philly | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Philly Columnist: We Don’t Deserve July 4th”

  1. Snigs Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:37 am

    Well said Wyatt.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:56 am

    Snigs – Thank you. Guy just made me mad.

  3. Mike47 Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:59 am

    Guy’s a toad. Doesn’t deserve the attention. bad-mouthing the U.S. is just a trade tactic to these pukes, so as to get people riled up and talking about him. Best approach is ignore them.

  4. CaptainAmerica Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 2:17 am

    Why O why are wasting energy on this P.O.S.? You know better. Let the fireworks begin.

  5. RT Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 am

    I’m thinking of a really good Flyers chant right now, “Assssssss-hooooooooooole.”

    ‘Scuse my language, but that’s what he is.

    Bravo and well-said.

  6. Bloviating Zeppelin Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 am

    Sorry. Summary: this guy’s a fu*


  7. AJ Lynch Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 am


    As you know Satullo fancies himself a big big thinker. He epitomizes the mindset that has ruined newspapers.

    If Tierney had brains, he would fire this guy while filming the firing and post the video on the Philly news website. I could give Tierney about 17 reasons – heh- Satullo was the dweeb who wrote the idiotorial series called “17 reasons to elect John Kerry” or some such crap. How’d that work out for you Chris?

  8. USA_Admiral Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:40 am

    Well done with your retort.

    It is sad when half the country agrees with this P.O.S.

  9. Kim Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    One of our local towns has cancelled fireworks. But not because of this. Rather because a major sink hole due to the massive flooding.

    I would say this guy is a toad, but my children play with toads and I would not let them near this “person.”

  10. Dennis Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    What is really sad about this mans article is the fact that there are people who read it and agree with his conclusion that we should not celebrate the fourth.

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Mike47 – Normally I would, but I couldn’t resist exposing this tool for what he is: an America-hating libtard.

    Captain – I’d be all for that, except have to work tomorrow night. Dang.

    RT – Couldn’t have chanted it better myself.

    BZ – Agreed. Wholeheartedly agreed!

    AJ – I’m gonna guess not too good.

    Admiral – And those same people have never been anywhere else, so they just assume its better. They’re wrong.

    Kim – They should fill the sink hole with 100 pounds of TNT. That would rock!

    Dennis – Good. More fireworks and hot dogs for the rest of us!

  12. RFTR Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    The America they founded did, however, tar and feather those who disagreed with them.

    Maybe we should bring back that custom for this frakkin’ idiot?

  13. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    July 3rd, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    People still read that liberal tripe the MSM writes?

    I’m with the Capt… Light ‘em up!

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 4th, 2008 at 2:54 am

    RFTR – It is amazing how the media always gets a case of selective memory in stories like these.

    Smite – I’m sure we’ll be dodging gunfire at work tonight. Break out the vests, everyone!

  15. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    July 4th, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    Don’t forget about the lib’s beloved Roosevelt, that incarcerated thousands of civilians as well.

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