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A Few Disney Vacation Impressions

By Wyatt Earp | April 30, 2007

First of all, I want to apologize to everyoneespecially my cohorts at Blogs4Bauer, since I am a week behind in my viewership and cannot LiveBlog tonight – for being such a slacker the last day or so. After arriving from Florida on Saturday afternoon, I came home, sorted through the e-mails, and crashed. On Sunday, we held lacrosse practice because this week’s three games will determine if my guys will make the playoffs for the first time in school history. On Sunday night, we began our ice hockey semifinal matchup against the Storm. After blowing a two-goal lead in the second period, we came back to win with 1:04 left in the game.

Today, I started day work, and went straight from work to our lacrosse game. We got spanked 6-2, but are still alive in the playoff hunt – it just got a little more difficult now. By the time I get home to blog, it is almost 9pm. I promise things will get better after this hectic week.

Any hoo, while walking around the Happiest Place on Earth – and no, Vinnie, it’s not the nudie bar - I had a few epiphanies. To wit:

1. Women with British accents automatically get bumped up two notches on the 1-10 scale. An average woman becomes much more attractive when she speaks with that accent.

2. Women with Southern accents automatically get bumped up three notches on the 1-10 scale. An average-looking woman was on the bus with us, and was pronouncing “him” as “hay-im.” God, I loved that!

3. A lot of fat people – besides me – visit Walt Disney World. Unlike me, these people find it necessary to wear clothes that are either much too tight, or so skimpy that their man-boobs spill out. Gross.

4. Where else but Disney can you lose your cell phone and have it returned to you unmolested? I lost my cell – which is my lifeline anymore – on one of the roller coasters. After an hour or so of panic, and a call to Verizon to suspend my account, I figured it was gone forever. When we were leaving the Magic Kingdom, I decided to check at the main entrance to see if anyone turned it in. Sure enough, the phone was there seven hours later, with no additional charges. Keen! Somehow, I doubt that would happen in Philly . . .

5. I was unimpressed with the actress playing Belle in the parks. A washed-out brunette is no match for a stunning redhead – such as the actress playing Belle in 2000. Of course, Mary Poppins was no slouch . . .

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