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Robbing More Than The Cradle

By Wyatt Earp | September 23, 2006

My good friend Bill has finally joined the ranks of Philadelphia crime victims!

You see, Bill is a highly-trained bank executive: the only one of my friends from college that is making a decent living. As such, sometimes he has to visit other banks for meetings about, oh, why the pens are chained to the tables and so forth. Today was one of those days, and as dumb luck would have it, he visited one in my division.

As Bill was sitting in the conference room, a fine, upstanding citizen entered the bank, jumped up on the teller counter, pulled out a pistol, and said, “You know what this is!” Unfortunately for the citizens of Philadelphia, they did: it was a robbery.

The teller must not have been acting fast enough, because the toad decided to fire off a round into the ceiling. Classic film move, but usually one that is frowned upon in real life. Bill heard the “pop” and then the commotion outside the meeting. Being a highly-trained FOW (friend of Wyatt) he burst through the door and shot the suspect between the eyes with his Desert Eagle.

Nah, I’m yankin’ ya; he cowered under the desk like a prepubescent little girl. He did, however, attempt to call 911 before the suspect fled the building. Luckily, there were no injuries, and my co-workers arrived on the scene in record time . . . before being shooed away by the all-important FBI.

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