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Cop Land

Archive for November, 2005

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"Will Shoot Jack Bauer For Food"

Friday, November 25th, 2005

There’s nothing better for the piggy bank than landing a sweet gig on a successful television series. That is, until your character is written/killed off. The cast of 24 knows this more than most. Sometimes the success carries over in the form of endorsements. For example, Dennis Haysbert (President Palmer) is now the spokesperson for [...]

Black Friday

Friday, November 25th, 2005

“Why does it have to be black?” – Spike Lee It looks like that whole global warming thing was a bit premature. Last night, the temperature in Philly was approaching Hillary Clinton levels (as of this posting it is 17 degrees outside). Nevertheless, the morons were out in droves in preparation for Black Friday. By [...]

Giving You The Bird

Thursday, November 24th, 2005

It’s Thanksgiving, and since my readers have lives, no one will be reading SYLG today. Thus, I am free to prattle on about anything I desire. So, the following people are gay . . . What’s that? Someone may actually be reading today? Oh. Scratch that whole gay thing. Instead, like every other blogger on [...]

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Thursday, November 24th, 2005

“Fiery Jack, Fiery Jack! It’s red-hot on yer back!” – The Toy Dolls I think I’m dying. No, really. It’s been a week since I suffered a horrible add-a-stick-to-me to my ribs, and the injury is getting worse. At this point, it hurts to do, well . . . anything – and my constant alternating [...]

I Got Yer Therapy Right Here!

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

I am nothing if not sensitive to my blog friends’ needs. When someone needs cheering up, you can count on this lawman to come through, pistols blazing! He’s gonna kick my ass for this, but fmragtops has been down in the dumps of late. Thankfully, Dr. Earpy has the cure for what ails ya: Keira [...]

Isn’t It Ironic?

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

The harder I try to be a bum for Sergeant A-Hole, the easier activity comes my way. Last night, I parked at a gas station near the busiest intersection in my district, waiting for a motorist to do something stupid. It didn’t take long. Two rice burners decided to drag race past my location, spinning [...]

Back In The Saddle

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005

Hey, after two weeks of powerfully unfunny caption entries, I finally made it back to semi-respectability. I took third place in GOP and the City’s Weekend Caption Contest! Click the link to see all the funny – including the winning entry from some gun whacko in Ohio.

Wet, Drunk, And Stupid

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” Dean Wormer, Animal House And the dumb get dumber. Last night, I was working my usual solo car (Whoo hoo! Take that, Wagonsux!) when I get a call for a Vandalism in Progress. Upon arrival, the resident tells me that his live-in girlfriend [...]

Luck Be A Red Wing Tonight

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005

Jesus, I gotta find a different sport to play!DETROIT (AP) — Red Wings defenseman Jiri Fischer collapsed on the Detroit bench late in the first period of Monday night’s game against the Nashville Predators and was hospitalized in stable condition. The team announced that Fischer had a seizure and was doing fine. Red Wings coach [...]

Wagon Night: Continued

Monday, November 21st, 2005

Part Two: Nice To Have You “Back” I know no one is going to waste their time reading this after the novel I posted earlier, but here’s how the second half of our night played out: After we impounded little Billy’s car, we got a call for a retail theft at the PathMark. The local [...]

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