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Black Friday

By Wyatt Earp | November 25, 2005

Why does it have to be black?” – Spike Lee

It looks like that whole global warming thing was a bit premature. Last night, the temperature in Philly was approaching Hillary Clinton levels (as of this posting it is 17 degrees outside). Nevertheless, the morons were out in droves in preparation for Black Friday. By midnight, the intellectually challenged were lined up outside the Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Circuit City, eager to get a jump on the sales.

Unfortunately, these retailers weren’t opening until 5am!

I’m sure the three dollars in savings will more than compensate for the appendages lost to frostbite. Idiots.

Topics: Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

11 Responses to “Black Friday”

  1. rt Says:
    November 25th, 2005 at 5:41 pm

    Hey Mr. Earp, Just saw some 4 o’clock news…yep…idiots is too nice a word for these sense-challenged people. I think somewhere near Atlantic City there was near rioting and looting at a Circuit City and Wal Mart. Isn’t it nice that adults behave like spoiled little children? The stores advertise that they have limited supplies. That doesn’t mean hundreds…it means like, twenty. It all started with those ugly, obnoxious cabbage patch dolls. Damn those cabbage dolls!!!! And yes, I am a chick. I prefer some killer rock or metal to sexy music, thank you.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 25th, 2005 at 8:19 pm

    RT – I meant the sexy music for me, a la Glenn Beck when a woman calls and says how much she likes him. Not that there’s anything wrong with metal.

    Anywhoo, The same happened in South Philly today. The toads were near rioting when they ran out of $300 laptop computers. I mentioned this to my friend Denny, and he said you could get them on eBay any day of the week. Dolts.

  3. rt Says:
    November 25th, 2005 at 8:29 pm

    Sorry for the miscommunication. I wonder if they remembered that they would need printers with those computers. I spent my day putting together Christmas stockings that I’ll send to an MP unit in Iraq. Hoorah!

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 25th, 2005 at 8:33 pm

    RT – No miscommunication at all. But most rock/metal heads are usually a little younger. Are you old enough to read this site? :P

    I have a link on the sidebar for I sent a care package to a Marine K-9 unit in Iraq filled with CD’s, books, and junk food. The far and away favorite? Slim Jims. Go figure.

  5. rt Says:
    November 25th, 2005 at 9:46 pm

    Got the Slim Jims…maybe they think they Macho Man Savage! Thanks for the link to Garfield Ridge and to the books for soldiers. Peace. I’m as old as you…well almost!

  6. Pandy Says:
    November 26th, 2005 at 1:18 am

    I totally forgot what I was going to say, because of this!

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 26th, 2005 at 1:28 am

    Stella – I had NOTHING to do with that – althought now I wish I did! I’m gonna miss your paranoia when you move to Italy.

  8. Pandy Says:
    November 26th, 2005 at 1:32 am

    Slim Jims come in MREs. Yes. That’s what I was thinking about, before I got mocked so heartlessly.

    Moving to Italy is not going to stop me from using the internet. Y’all aren’t getting away from me so easily!

  9. airforcewife Says:
    November 26th, 2005 at 10:53 am

    MREs also come with laxative gum.

    It is necessary.

    When we were first married, my hubby would try to revolt when i did not make breakfast by eating MREs he had filched from the chow line.

    It was its own punishment.

  10. Dr. Phat Tony Says:
    November 26th, 2005 at 1:02 pm

    Try being on nothing but MRE’s for two weeks. Nothing like being violated by shelf stable food.

  11. rt Says:
    November 26th, 2005 at 4:11 pm

    Mmmmmmm. Hardtack.