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Auto Focus

By Wyatt Earp | September 28, 2005

The Camden Riversharks regular season finished up on Sunday with a 7-4 win over the Somerset Patriots. It was the last game of the season ticket plan I share with my friend Bill. Camden missed the playoffs this year, but the organization always treats their season ticket faithful – even partial plan guys like me – like gold. So, it wasn’t that big of a surprise when Bill received a letter from the front office inviting us to a post-season focus group concerning the team later today.

Now, I realize it is corporate suicide to invite a brutally honest guy like me to any forum where it is encouraged to speak your mind, but I’m going anyway. Here are some of the issues I would like addressed:

The fans. There are just too many fans at Campbell’s Field. Many times some of them are sitting in our row – or worse – next to me. That is unacceptable for a big blog star like me. I demand a comfort zone, post haste!

The food. Don’t get me wrong, fat guys like all kinds of food, but after our trip to see the Lancaster Barnstormers (and their fabulous Amish cuisine), hot dogs and peanuts just doesn’t cut it. And why doesn’t Campbell’s Field serve soup???

The players. I would like a guarantee that whenever I am in the stands, the Sharks win. During our 14-game plan, the Sharks won less than five times this year. Poppycock!

My demands are reasonable, but any attempt to deviate from this plan will be met with stiff penalties. Thank you. Oh, and Go Sharks!

Topics: Coolness! | 1 Comment »

One Response to “Auto Focus”

  1. Steve Says:
    September 28th, 2005 at 11:52 am


    Mmmm! Amish food! Kind of like mennonite food but stricter!

    No Soup for you!! or anybody at a Baseball stadium!!! That is sacrelage. I think I spelled that wrong.

    And what excatly is a “stiff penalty”?