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People I Hate

By Wyatt Earp | August 5, 2005

Last night at work really sucked. Two (out of four) of our computers were down, our main printer was down, and we were terribly short of personnel. Suffice to say, I’m in a mood this morning. And when I’m in a mood, I break out the old mainstay, People I Hate. Enjoy!

Rob Schneider

Can anyone explain to me why this man is famous? Schneider, the brutally unfunny former SNLer, keeps getting work despite his obvious lack of talent. (He’s yet another person suffering from Jennifer Lopez Syndrome.) I don’t know about you, but I am dying to see Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo. Sarcasm Alert! Is there really a demand for a Deuce sequel? What’s next, The Waterboy II? Corky Romano Returns?? It’s Pat: Androgynous Revenge??? If I ever uncover the genie in a lamp, my first wish will be to see Schneider and Lorne Michaels beaten about the head with their lame movie scripts.

Terrell Owens

Okay, T.O. decides that he doesn’t want to honor his contract. That’s cool. It’s not like this isn’t the first time a spoiled, pampered athlete cried when he didn’t get his way. Then, Owens’ scumbag shyster agent, Drew Rosenhaus tells the world that T. O. can’t feed his family on $3 million a year. I can dig it. Lord knows I would have trouble surviving on that kind of scratch. What I can not and will not tolerate is all this nonsense coupled with a freak injury. Yep, a mere week into training camp, the Princess hurt his puny little groin. Hey, T.O., maybe next time you want to dishonor your contract, be sure to stretch first. Ass!

Philadelphia Mayor John Street

Sorry, that one is just on general principle.

Topics: People I Hate | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “People I Hate”

  1. miriam Says:
    August 5th, 2005 at 3:32 pm

    At least JLo is pretty.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 5th, 2005 at 5:25 pm

    Good point. Schneider is uglier than I am.

  3. Kate Says:
    August 5th, 2005 at 6:43 pm

    Schneider is putz who can’t act. I’m surprised you didn’t throw Pauly Shore for good measure!

    RE: T.O.: EFF him! He needs to leave Philly NOW. I can’t stand him. He’s a bigger cry baby than Eric Lindros!

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 6th, 2005 at 4:41 am

    Kate – Did you just rip Eric Lindros on MY blog??? That’s blasphemy!!! You are now persona non grata here. :P

  5. Pam Says:
    August 6th, 2005 at 10:54 pm

    Rob Schneider and Andy Dick are in the same “non-talent, non-funny” boat.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 6th, 2005 at 10:59 pm

    Pam – Andy Dick . . . *shudder*

  7. Anonymous Says:
    August 9th, 2005 at 2:30 pm

    I hate those damn monkeys too>