There’s A New Love In My Life
By Wyatt Earp | September 21, 2010
Remember that affair I had with this sweet sensation? Well, that’s over. Kicked her to the curb.
This love is my one true love. It is a hockey stick autographed by my hero, Wayne Gretzky. Isn’t she beautiful?
How did I come to possess such a lovely visage? Well, the credit goes to Mrs. Crankipants. She and Mr. Crankipants attended an ALS benefit over the weekend for their nephew – here’s the e-mail if you would like to contribute – and this was one of the items at the silent auction. She told me about it, and my response was akin to Darth Vader’s: “I want that ship stick.”
She asked me how high I would go for it, and I quoted her a fairly obscene dollar amount. I did so because I’m the man around here and I don’t need any permission to spend a lot of money. (Read: I asked the wife’s permission and she gave me the green light.) Mrs. Crankipants said she would do her best, but considering the item, I figured my bid would be too low. And no, I am not releasing the bid here, but it was a nice chunk of change.
Later that night, she sent me the above photo of the stick blade and the autograph. I figured she was teasing me, because that’s what she does. I told her that I was starting to get my hopes up, and that probably was an unwise thing to do.
Her response? “It’s yours, idiot!” She won it!
I traveled to Casa de Crankipants this morning and picked up the stick – after thanking Mrs. Crankipants a million times. It was better than I imagined, and the best money I have ever spent. The fact that it’s going to the charity is icing on the cake.
So listen up. No one gives Mrs. Crankipants grief here . . . ever! Understand, people?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to be alone with the stick.
Topics: Ice Hockey | 18 Comments »
September 21st, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Mrs. Crankipants is awesome! All for a very worthy reason, too. Kudos to Mrs. Earp, too.
September 21st, 2010 at 7:10 pm
So listen up. No one gives Mrs. Crankipants grief here . . . ever! Understand, people?
____________________________________________
Who in their right mind would WANT to ?
She has a belt sander……and she knows how to use it.
September 21st, 2010 at 7:26 pm
RT – What about me? I’m the one with the man-crush!
JT – Yeah, she’s scary . . . in a special kind of way.
September 21st, 2010 at 7:34 pm
Wyatt and stick….something about that seems kind of freaky.
September 21st, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Wow, that’s very cool. And very kind of her.
September 21st, 2010 at 7:58 pm
I think you got ripped off, Wyatt! You’ve got a genuine Wayne Muzhy there! (After all these years, I’m sure Gretzky knows how to make a “G”!)
September 21st, 2010 at 8:01 pm
You’re gonna owe her for EVAR!!!
September 21st, 2010 at 8:39 pm
When I handed over the hockey stick, Wyatt was like a hyperactive toddler after two bowls of cereal marshmallows. Fortunately for me and Windex eyes, when my nephew found out I was bidding on the Gretzky stick, he pulled it from the auction. I knew that being the cool aunt who slipped him sips of my Chimay when he was a teenager would someday pay off.
September 21st, 2010 at 9:22 pm
GroovyVic – Play your cards right, and . . .
Bitter – Yeah, she’s the shiznit.
Proof – Trust me, I know a Gretzky and an Elway autograph by sight. It’s genuine.
Old NFO – Yup!
Mrs. Crankipants – Sorry for tinkling on your rug. I do that when I’m excited.
September 21st, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Mrs. Crankipants–If you give him a Guinness and a Scooby Snack he calms down.
September 21st, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Next… you have to go eat in Wayne Gretzky’s restaurant in Toronto near the Hockey Hall of Fame. Young lad and I did that when we went up there.
September 21st, 2010 at 11:28 pm
That is very cool.
September 22nd, 2010 at 12:38 am
Maybe a Disney Movie could be made from this.
Something like this was a magical Hockey Stick and anyone who possessed it could have the Hockey playing abilities of Wayne Gretzky.
You could have a side political plot where everytime a Progressive told a lie or blamed Bush, Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck for something the stick becomes a divineing stick.
Of course now you are talking about a 4 hour miniseries.
September 22nd, 2010 at 5:19 am
Wyatt, you’re a tease.
September 22nd, 2010 at 8:12 am
That’ll be 2 “Get out of jail free” cards good for up to double felony charges and a “Badge of Invisibility” to take care of those pesky highway patrol boys.
Get to work Wyatt!
The Missus won’t wait!
September 22nd, 2010 at 11:16 am
What, no Keith Acton???
September 22nd, 2010 at 11:21 am
RT – Once in a while.
Bob – Never been to the Hall, but I’d like to go there.
Ingineer – And I’ll never, ever sell it. Ever.
Ferrell – That would assume I would actually play a game with the stick. It’s already hanging up in my basement.
GroovyVic – Eh, if I thought you were a hockey fan, I’d work something out.
1oldleg – Yeah, she pretty much has favors from now until my death.
Randal – He is still my favorite Flyer of all time. Bri got me his autograph once. It read: “To a wiseguy punk. Best wishes, Keith Acton.” I still cherish that piece of paper.
September 23rd, 2010 at 8:10 pm
You MUST really like the guy. I adore Bruce Dickinson but I couldn’t pick his signature out if my life depended on it. lol