Category Archives: Ice Hockey

Today’s Moment Of Stupid

Impatient Rangers Fan

After lacrosse, hockey is my favorite sport. So it shocks and appalls me to see someone so ignorant of the sport sitting in the stands, wasting a ticket which could be used by me. This fan was sitting in Madison Square Garden – a fantastic place to watch a game, by the way – and was caught doing something that should have warranted a puck to the face.

A New York Rangers fan was clearly bored during the team’s matchup against the Carolina Hurricanes on Tuesday, prompting him to look up how many periods there are in a hockey game on his smart phone.

The Hurricanes failed to score after the first period, as the Rangers won handily, 4-1. No wonder this guy was getting impatient. At least he didn’t try to find out how many quarters are in a basketball or football game. (H/T – Mrs. Earp)

Okay, I get it’s New York, and plenty of celebrities/business types go to the game simply to be seen. That said, if you don’t know how many periods are in a hockey game, you are as dumb as you are stupid.

Looking for a Good Time?


Hey all:

There is a special event this Saturday. USA vs. Russia. Men’s Ice Hockey, baby! My most favorite tavern in history, Jitters Sports Bar, in West Chester, PA will be opening up at 7:30 AM for this once-every-four-years event.

If you live in the West Chester area, I highly recommend stopping by. The bar will be filled with die-hard hockey fans and die-hard “locals.” It should be awesome. Feel free to come out and join the festivities. And thank you to Jitters for opening up this damn early. The Doc will be in the house that day, as will the surgeon.

Rangers Win! Theeeeeee Rangers Win!

Yankee Stadium Series Rink

Like last night’s Kings/Ducks game at Dodger Stadium, the NHL has two games scheduled for Yankee Stadium this week. The first, pitting the New York Rangers against the New Jersey Devils, is set for today at 12:30pm. The second, pitting the Rangers against the New York Islanders, is set for Wednesday night at 7:30pm. Guess which match-up is selling out?

In its four-plus years of existence, the New Yankee Stadium has hosted over 400 baseball games, 11 concerts, 6 college football game, 4 soccer matches, one boxing match and at least one college graduation service. On Sunday, Yankee Stadium will host it’s first-ever hockey game, and it will be a first ever for any version of Yankee Stadium.

For a venue that’s been around since 1923, it’s hard to come up with a new first, which may be part of the reason why there’s such a discrepancy in price between the game Sunday and the next outdoor game, on Wednesday. The average price for Rangers tickets for the first game on Sunday is $253, with the cheapest ticket going for $60. The second game next Wednesday, which features the Rangers versus the Islanders, is about 40% lower. Additionally, the Islanders game has over 10,000 tickets still for sale, which means that prices are likely to drop significantly between now and then.

An added bonus for today’s game? The Devils are rocking the throwback green! Love them! Why all the hockey talk today? Because today is Wayne Gretzky’s birthday, that’s why.

UPDATE: WTF, Devils? You give up six unanswered goals???


James Van Riemsdyk Winter Classic

Say what you want about the NHL; they know how to put on a show.

The images of the 2014 Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic on Wednesday were as intoxicating as the conditions were frigid. The temperature was 13 degrees Fahrenheit at the start of the game. The wind chill sent it below zero as the game progressed. More than 100,000 teeth-chattering fans jammed into the 96 rows of bleacher seats at Michigan Stadium took it all in; their senses no doubt overwhelmed.

Roughly half of the fans crossed the border happy as the Toronto Maple Leafs beat the Detroit Red Wings 3-2 in a shootout to win what, at the end of the day, was a regular-season game between Atlantic Division rivals which each entered the afternoon with 45 points through 41 games.

Tyler Bozak scored the shootout winner with a low, stick-side shot in the bottom half of the third round after Tomas Tatar failed to score in the top half.

Since I was working, I missed the second period, but caught the rest. It was one of the most entertaining hockey games I have seen in a long, long time.

A Devil Of A Time

Devils Versus Lightning

A few months ago, I bought tickets to the New Jersey Devils/Tampa Bay Lightning game for my two oldest boys. My middle son Erik is a huge Steven Stamkos fan and wanted to see him play live. (Kyle saw the Bruins two years ago so he could see Tim Thomas.) Sadly, Stamkos broke his leg a few weeks ago, and wouldn’t be playing, but since both kids are Devils fans, they didn’t mind. Personally, I wanted to go to see Jaromir Jagr – one of my all-time favorite players – lace them up for the red and black.

Little did I know Snowmageddon II: The Blizzarding would hit the PA/NJ corridor last night.

The drive was not fun. We left the house at 4pm for the 7pm game. We arrived at the Prudential Center in scenic Newark, NJ at a little after 6pm. In between, we saw a slew of wrecked and abandoned cars on the NJ Turnpike, as we averaged a top speed of 40mph. To their credit, the NJ Turnpike was in MUCH better condition than the PA Turnpike. Either way, thanks to my expert white-knuckle driving, we made it to the rink, safe and sound…

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Wain Gretsky, The Grate Won

Wayne Gretzky Statue

Wayne Gretzky is arguably the greatest and most popular hockey player of all time. So why would people of his hometown vandalize his statue… and misspell his name?

In October, two statues of Wayne Gretzky were unveiled in his hometown of Brantford, Ontario. One statue shows a young Great One and his parents, Walter and Phyllis. The other is one of an older Gretzky hoisting the Stanley Cup. Days after the unveiling, both statues were vandalized. Now there’s more controversy.

A keen-eyed youngster was looking at the Cup statue during a recent visit when he noticed something was a little off about the engravings on the trophy Gretzky won four times as a member of the Edmonton Oilers. For starters, as you see above, Gretzky’s named is misspelled “Gretzsky” and he’s listed as a member of the 1998-99 Detroit Red Wings. Then there’s the engraving that has the Edmonton Oilers as 2003 champions and features the names of Oprah Winfrey, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Rocky Balboa and Oscar Wilde.

That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows Emerson was a defenseman for the Boston Bruins from 1834-1836!

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King Joffrey Will See You Now


Longtime commenter, redhead paramedic, and my good friend Jenn is recovering from appendicitis. Trust me when I tell you, recovery is no fun. So I figured she could use some cheering up… and hopefully Toronto Maple Leafs left wing Joffrey Lupul will fit the bill.

(Oh, there’s a better – for the ladies – pic here. It’s NSFW.)

Get well soon, Jenn. We need our Canadian girl back.

The Ice Man Selleth!

Blackhawks Ice Girl

In a move that fits extreme capitalism, and exactly something I’d expect from Obambi’s home state, the Chicago Blackhawks are selling their Championship home ice. Classy.

You can read about it here.

Well done Illinois! Again you come up with a scam worthy of Capone himself! Allegedly money raised will go to team “charities”. Of course no charities are specifically mentioned. Hopefully, the city will seize the money and put it to good use. Like healing Derrick Rose, filling pot holes, the Obamabi Presidential library (HA!), or bribing Bud Selig so the Cubbies can win a pennant.

As a capitalist I would normally get behind a move like this. But because its the Blackhawks it is lame and a scam. Then again if the Kings did it, and I imagine it is much easier to melt ice in LA, FIRST. IN. LINE.

#1 Killer Sperm!


In case you didn’t figure out from the hint Killer Sperm (not a reference to AIDS patients, or as I call them Weaponized Semen) the #1 defunct logo in sports is the one and only WHALE! The Hartford Whalers. I still to this day have no idea why the NHL would put a team in between two of the original 6, the Rangers and Bruins; it was like an extended death sentence. Anyone with a bit of wit knew they would never last, didn’t even make it twenty years. The Whalers played from 79-97 before packing it up and moving down to Hockey Heaven: Raleigh, North Carolina. In case you can’t tell Marge, I am being sarcastic. Why, oh why, would the NHL open up shop in NASCAR’s backyard? It makes as much sense as a football team starting in Oakland, moving to Los Angeles, and then back to Oakland. Screw your corpse, Al Davis! I hope a necrophiliac is having a field day. But enough anger; a little history on the team and the sweetest logo you will ever lay your eyes upon!

Originally the New England Whalers in the WHA (World Hockey Association), they became the Hartford Whalers in 1979 when they were gobbled up by the NHL. They were never a popular NHL team, but had some moderate success. Unfortunately, anytime they made the playoffs it would mean going up against powerhouses like the Boston Bruins or Montreal Canadians. That is a big ouch. It would be like your local softball team going up against Nolan Ryan, George Brett, Cal Ripken Jr., and Kirby Puckett. Throw in hall of Fame murderer OJ Simpson, for giggles. Eventually the nail in the Whalers coffin hit in 1997 and the team relocated to Carolina and became the Hurricanes. Before leaving, though, they did have some notable players skate for their franchise. The most popular of which was Ron Francis. He was also joined by Hall of Famers Paul Coffey, Gordie Howe, and Bobby Hull.

The logo is sheer genius. The ‘W” being a green sea with the blue whale tail breaking it’s plane. Of course, between the tail a “W” and “H” is formed. This is as brilliant as the #2 Brewers logo, but gets extra points as it is hockey-related and never worn anymore. I proudly own a blue Whalers jersey and show it off whenever possible. When I do, I am hounded by “Bring Back the Whale” calls, “Southern Hockey Sucks”, and “Keep Your Hands of my Sister!” One of the most interesting facts about the Whalers though, is we might not have ESPN if not for the Whale! ESPN started covering Whalers games and grew into the Fascist sports conglomerate it is today! Cool, huh? Especially because ESPN treats hockey like a red-headed step child today. I could almost hear the reports last nite, “The Blackhawks win the cup, but first we are going to watch Lebron James clear out his locker for 15 minutes and then break live to watch Tim Tebow shave Tom Brady’s back.” Screw ‘em!

And as Brody so elegantly puts it in MALLRATS: “Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ’s sake. It’s only the second period and I’m up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, “the Whale,” they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”

That wraps up the list of Greatest Defunct Sports Logos. Sorry it took so long, a lot going on around the homestead with friends, beer, job interviews, beer, a girl, beer, storms knocking out power, beer, the dog, whiskey, and a new fence. I offer this as an apology. GIGGITY:


Blackhawks Win Cup: Chicagoans Act Accordingly

Blackhawks ThugSpecifically, like animals. Chicago Blackhawks fans took to the streets after last night’s Stanley Cup win, and celebrated by throwing bottles at police officers.

F*ck them and everyone who looks like them.

Police had planned to keep the revelers off of Clark Street in Wrigleyville, closing the street and setting up barricades near the heavy cluster of bars at Addison. The plan worked for a short while, but eventually the crowd broke down the barricades and took to the street, setting off fireworks, chanting and dancing.

A contingent of officers on horses eventually worked through the crowd shortly before midnight, and started to push the crowd south, although some of the people in the crowd started throwing bottles and cans of beer and at the horses.

Full disclosure: I despise Chicago. I hate its sports teams, I hate its politicians, and I hate its deep dish pizza. (Don’t take it personally; I also hate Philadelphia.) Throw in the fact that I am also a Boston Bruins fan, and you can imagine my disgust. Yes, the Bruins pissed away a sure win last night, and yes, Patrick Kane is an amazing talent.

That said, f*ck the Blackhawks. in the last four years, they have now beaten both the Flyers and the Bruins for the Cup. As far as I’m concerned, Chicago fans can burn their entire city to the ground. Believe me, it would not be missed.