PA Man Arrested For Playing Possum
By Wyatt Earp | March 27, 2010
Note to readers: If I ever get this drunk, one of you can shoot me in the skull.
State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth “resuscitation” to a long-dead opossum along a highway.
Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal along Route 36 in Oliver Township Thursday about 3 p.m. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt.
Levier says Wolfe was “extremely intoxicated” and “did have his mouth in the area of the animal’s mouth, I guess.”
I can’t wait until I go to CPR training and ask the instructor if he has any rodent dummies to practice on.
Topics: WTF? | 18 Comments »
March 27th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
Oh THAT is just pathetic… I don’t think I could EVER get that drunk!!!
March 27th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Old NFO – Very difficult to do I would think.
March 27th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
HA!
March 27th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Getting high off of decomposition fumes?
March 27th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
[...] There’s drunk, and then there’s this. [...]
March 27th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
Yeah, I had to post that one too. I had this great vision of the guy doing drunken Uri Geller moves to magically revive the road kill. Classic.
BTW, did you get the art I sent–or the link, I can’t remember–good sidebar material.
March 27th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
I’m VERY sure that I would pass out and die of liver failure before getting that drunk, but that’s just me
March 28th, 2010 at 12:28 am
That idiot better get himself tested and treated for possible rabies. Either that or he’ll be a candidate for the Darwin Awards soon.
March 28th, 2010 at 12:41 am
Ten bucks says that either mead or moonshine was involved.
March 28th, 2010 at 7:35 am
I’ve been to Brookville. I’m not surprised.
March 28th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Just another day in the life of a card carrying PETA member!!
March 28th, 2010 at 11:21 am
RT – Definitely belongs on the Wall of Weird.
Jon – Or he’s a necrophiliac.
cbullitt – I’ll check my e-mail.
Roger – As would I. I turned 21 during a lacrosse trip to Virginia Beach. My team gave me 21 vodka shots for the event. I am told I finished them, but I don’t remember doing so. Even then, I just passed out afterward.
Wai – Foaming at the mouth is probably the rush he is looking for.
Dixie – Or (God forbid) both.
GroovyVic – White Trash Heaven?
Danny – Think about the
childrenpossum!March 28th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
Dixie – Or (God forbid) both.
(twitch) Mead AND shine in the same night? Isn’t that like crossing the streams?
March 28th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
The dude has to be some kin of my father-in-law’s girlfriend. Mouth-to-mouth on possums, CPR on squirrels…sounds like he could be her long lost twin. >.<
March 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Dixie – As Igon Spangler said, “That would be bad.”
Snigs – What the Hell is the compression rate for a squirrel?
March 29th, 2010 at 7:58 am
10 tons per square inch to crush them into a 1/2 inch cube? Viola…Squirrel bullion!
March 29th, 2010 at 11:57 am
Jon – Prefect for a cold, winter day . . . squirrel broth!
March 29th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Dixie – As Igon Spangler said, “That would be bad.”
“Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”
Sounds about right.