PA Man Arrested For Playing Possum
By Wyatt Earp | March 27, 2010
Note to readers: If I ever get this drunk, one of you can shoot me in the skull.
State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth “resuscitation” to a long-dead opossum along a highway.
Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal along Route 36 in Oliver Township Thursday about 3 p.m. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt.
Levier says Wolfe was “extremely intoxicated” and “did have his mouth in the area of the animal’s mouth, I guess.”
I can’t wait until I go to CPR training and ask the instructor if he has any rodent dummies to practice on.
Topics: WTF? | 18 Comments »
Oh THAT is just pathetic… I don’t think I could EVER get that drunk!!!
Old NFO – Very difficult to do I would think.
HA!
Getting high off of decomposition fumes?
[...] There’s drunk, and then there’s this. [...]
Yeah, I had to post that one too. I had this great vision of the guy doing drunken Uri Geller moves to magically revive the road kill. Classic.
BTW, did you get the art I sent–or the link, I can’t remember–good sidebar material.
I’m VERY sure that I would pass out and die of liver failure before getting that drunk, but that’s just me
That idiot better get himself tested and treated for possible rabies. Either that or he’ll be a candidate for the Darwin Awards soon.
Ten bucks says that either mead or moonshine was involved.
I’ve been to Brookville. I’m not surprised.
Just another day in the life of a card carrying PETA member!!
RT – Definitely belongs on the Wall of Weird.
Jon – Or he’s a necrophiliac.
cbullitt – I’ll check my e-mail.
Roger – As would I. I turned 21 during a lacrosse trip to Virginia Beach. My team gave me 21 vodka shots for the event. I am told I finished them, but I don’t remember doing so. Even then, I just passed out afterward.
Wai – Foaming at the mouth is probably the rush he is looking for.
Dixie – Or (God forbid) both.
GroovyVic – White Trash Heaven?
Danny – Think about the
childrenpossum!Dixie – Or (God forbid) both.
(twitch) Mead AND shine in the same night? Isn’t that like crossing the streams?
The dude has to be some kin of my father-in-law’s girlfriend. Mouth-to-mouth on possums, CPR on squirrels…sounds like he could be her long lost twin. >.<
Dixie – As Igon Spangler said, “That would be bad.”
Snigs – What the Hell is the compression rate for a squirrel?
10 tons per square inch to crush them into a 1/2 inch cube? Viola…Squirrel bullion!
Jon – Prefect for a cold, winter day . . . squirrel broth!
Dixie – As Igon Spangler said, “That would be bad.”
“Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”
Sounds about right.