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Rosie Claims She Almost Had Angelina

By Wyatt Earp | October 29, 2009

Rosie O'Donnell uglyYeah, because Angelina Jolie always had a thing for gay, shapeless men.

I blame this on Ric Ocasek, the lead singer of The Cars. He married gorgeous supermodel Paulina Porizkova, and since then ugly guys – and even uglier lesbians – think they have a chance with the beautiful people. That’s not reality. I doubt this story is based upon it, either.

The talk-show icon blabbed to Howard Stern on Sirius XM radio about a time before she was married to Kelli Carpenter and Angelina had tied the knot with Billy Bob Thornton. A romance, she claimed, was a-bloomin’.

“She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.”

Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal. (H/TThe Jawa Report)

Okay, show of hands. Who is buying this nonsense? Anyone think that the troll could have landed this vision?

angelina-jolie-sexy-bikini

Nah, me neither.

Topics: Snarkasm | 12 Comments »

12 Responses to “Rosie Claims She Almost Had Angelina”

  1. Maggie Mama Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 8:37 am

    Rosie’s head is a big as her body. What an ego!

  2. metoo Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Okay, it’s now official. Rosey has gone off the rails and is having a great time on the crazy train. Someone needs to tell Jabba that wishing doesn’t make it so!

  3. MUD Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 9:47 am

    I can see where Angelina could have a friendship with someone as well know as Rosie. Anthing beyond that is just imagination. When you have trouble knowing the difference between truth and fiction a friendship or meeting could blossom into a love affair. (In a sick mind)
    MUD

  4. John D Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Hey, it could happen! It’s not all about looks, you know. Personality is an important part of attraction too… OK, on second thought, you’re right. Rosie didn’t stand a chance.

  5. Mark Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    A romancehunger, she claimed, was a-bloomin’

    There was a tentative plan to have eat her for dinner that never came through.

    Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal meal.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    Maggie Mama – It is a face that not even a mother could love.

    MeToo – If it did, I would be blogging alongside Jessica Biel. Just sayin’.

    MUD – On a different note, I know that all of my readers truly love me!

    John D – She has the personality (and the shape) of a fire hydrant.

    Mark – Well crafted!

  7. Ingineer66 Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    Hey I almost hooked up with Angelina too. Does the internet count?

  8. RT Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Maybe Angie thought kissing Rosie would be like kissing her brother. She like that kind of stuff.

  9. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 8:50 pm

    pppppsssshhhhh-bwahahahahahahaha!!! yeeeeah, ok.

    *continues to laugh uncontrollably for many more minutes.

  10. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    just occurred to me… is Rosie related to Barney? (Frank).

    they look similar, same body, and she’s got a similar sounding voice/minor speech impediment.

  11. Jason Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 12:09 am

    I hold rosie in very low regard. She is an anti-gun zealot who preaches the evil of firearms for self-defense but employs an armed security detail to protect her family.

    She is a seriously damaged human subhuman.

    I feel sorry for any child she rears.

    Jason

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    Smite – I think she is related to barney the Purple Dinosaur.

    Jason – Heh, heh, “rears.”