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Ladies And Gentlemen, I Give You Joel Bauer

By Wyatt Earp | April 14, 2009

Forget infomercial legends Billy Mays and Vince from ShamWow; this guy is the biggest douche on Earth. By the end of this video, I guarantee you will want to punch him in the mouth - and punch me in the groin for showing you this commercial.

Of course, you must watch it for the sheer comedy value:


(H/T - Ace Of Spades)

Joel Bauer needs to be eliminated by Jack Bauer . . . with extreme prejudice.

Editor’s Note: Don’t forget to keep an eye on the Site Meter for the contest. Visitor #500,000 should arrive this evening.

Topics: Video |

15 Responses to “Ladies And Gentlemen, I Give You Joel Bauer”

  1. Woody Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Yes. Biggest douche on Earth. It’s official.

  2. Sully Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    Wow, yeah big time douche!!! Sadly he makes a valid point that image sells to the stupid and uninformed.

    All that glitters is not gold…

  3. Echosix Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    His cards would make mediocre coffee coasters.

  4. George Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    I am 500,000 Yea! 540pm today. George

  5. Daisy Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    Douchebag is right. He sounds like a complete idiot.

    And George, if you are visitor 500k, congrats. :)

  6. ArkieRN Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    Huh? Said I was 500,000. I even took a screenshot. Weird.

  7. USA_Admiral Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Maybe he should wallpaper his bathroom with his extra cards?

  8. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    $4 a card? He’s not just a douche, he’s an idiot.
    Actually, the fact that his card won’t fit into a rolodex, means it’s going to get tossed in the trash in a Feng Shui attack.

  9. RT Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    You know what? I have had students with that exact same personality. I always kind of wonder what becomes of folks like that, and now I know…once an a-hole, always an a-hole. Imagine sitting through a few presentations from teenagers like that.

  10. vincent_antonelli Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    What do I do guaranteed? I guarantee that that douche has a small wiener, and he’s using oversized business cards to compensate.

  11. Randal Graves Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    He looks and sounds like a young Vince McMahon.

  12. TJ Says:
    April 15th, 2009 at 12:21 am

    YOU were right…I now have the urge to punch him in the mouth while he’s nibbling on your groin.

  13. proof Says:
    April 15th, 2009 at 1:17 am

    “Life is not about being liked.”
    Mission accomplished!

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 16th, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    Woody - No one else is even close.

    Sully - And this guy glitters like a big giant jackass.

    Echosix - I’d rather risk the ring on the coffee table.

    Admiral - I have a feeling he owns a lot of them.

    Mrs. Crankipants - He should fall on his sword after this display.

    RT - Big. Bag. O’ Douche.

    Vincent - Like you use that extra long hockey stick? I’m just sayin’.

    Randal - Without the talent or the money.

    TJ - Ah! My groin!!!

    Proof - Amen to that. Man cannot possibly have any friends.

  15. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    April 16th, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    I dunno that heavy stock card paper he uses might be perfect as a coaster, lots of room in there to contain moister like a sponge.

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