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The World’s Dumbest Criminal

By Wyatt Earp | February 11, 2009

SFIRES11aJim sent me this story - presumably after his head exploded. This woman guarantees job security for police officers everywhere.

After all, if they were smart, I would be out of a job. So, thank you, Amanda Gessner, for keeping me gainfully employed!

DREXEL HILL, Pa. - Police in a Philadelphia suburb say a 19-year-old woman accused of arson was caught on a surveillance camera singing, “The fire department is going to be mad at me.”

Gee, ya think? Sign this woman up for MENSA, post haste!

Police say Amanda Gessner touched off 7 blazes in trash and brush between 3 a.m. and 5:45 a.m. Tuesday within blocks of where she lives in Upper Darby Township.

Officials say Gessner was witnessed earlier in the evening at a local convenience store singing the ditty about the fire department. Her tune was caught on the store’s surveillance camera.

Gessner is being held on $100,000 bail, charged with arson and related offenses. Authorities say they have no reason to believe she is connected to the recent arsons in Coatesville, a few miles away. (H/T - Breitbart)

Wow. Seven arsons = seven felonies. And this dumb broad started the fires outside the city, so she won’t be graced with Philadelphia’s infamously lenient judges. It looks like Amanda Gessner will have plenty of time to practice her singing in prison.

Who knows? By the time she gets out, she may be good enough to try out for Geriatric American Idol.

Topics: The Job |

7 Responses to “The World’s Dumbest Criminal”

  1. Easily Lost Says:
    February 11th, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    I really do love the intelligence level of some of these people. (shakes head)

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 11th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    E.L. - And she’s a looker, too, huh? Possibly the world’s only ugly redhead. Nice eyebrow ring, too, toad.

  3. winston Says:
    February 11th, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    She looks like a mental case

  4. AJ Says:
    February 12th, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Ya know, I’m not saying I would, but then again I’m not saying I wouldn’t, either. Beauty is, after all, just a light-switch away.

  5. kaveman Says:
    February 12th, 2009 at 10:54 am

    She’s a witch!


    -Monty Python

  6. Doghouse Says:
    February 12th, 2009 at 11:26 am

    How long before it’s on YouTube?

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 13th, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Winston - You can say that again!

    AJ - Well, keep your lighters and matches out of the boudoir.

    Kaveman - Brilliant!!!

    Doghouse - 5 . . 4 . . 3 . .