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Hate Mail O’ The Week

By Wyatt Earp | February 25, 2009

hate-mail3

Oh, it’s always funny when I post about that racist scumbag Al Sharpton. And it’s not because he is such a fat, lazy, slovenly easy target, either. It’s because his supporters come out of the woodwork - and the unemployment lines - to spread some of that “Hope and change” my way.

This piece of literary brilliance comes from regular reader “Marlene,” who has been reading this blog for about all of five minutes. In that time, she has formed enough of an opinion about me that she feels comfortable taking the pork rinds out of her mouth to have someone intelligent send off a comment. Here is her dimwitted (unedited) attack:

6:05pm - TYPICAL OF VOLUNTEER SLAVES, EASILY THREATENED BY BLACK ASSERTION. Take heed new world order puppies, you like sheep, came as all the volunteer slaves of America, to think you could live a wholesome life in spite of God’s wrath of infringement for 400 years against Blacks in involuntary servitude. YOU STEPPED FOR SATAN ON 35 DECADES ON BLACKS WHO BUILT AMERICA, FOR YOUR AMERICAN DREAM. In the end you will find out all you own is your legacy of VOLUNTEERING FOR SLAVERY. BECAUSE YOUR HOUSES YOUR LOOSING WAS NEVER YOURS. HOW COULD IT BE?cause someone told you 400 years of slavery force didn’t matter? SEE YOU ARE THE VOLUNTEER SLAVES, THE PUPPETS AND SIMPLES OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER. You still worry about Blacks, when Hispanics are shitting on your land, suing you left and right, and raping and killing, and burrying pregnant White women. ie. chandra levy. KEEP ON WITH YOUR IGNORANCE, IT WILL HURT YOUR CHILDREN THE MOST. IF YOU HAD ANY SENSE YOU would stand with Al Sharpton against BIG MEDIA, RUNNING YOURS LIVES.

Wow, Marlene is obviously the second coming of David McCullough. (He’s a writer, Marlene. I doubt you read anything that isn’t penned by Jeremiah Wright . . . and written in crayon.) Undeterred by the spam feature - set up for ignorant people with atrocious grammar - Marlene fires a second volley across my bow:

6:10pm - YOU ACCEPTED SLAVERY AS THE NORM, AND NOW YOU ARE THE SLAVES, THE WHORE, THE LENDER, THE GREASERS, THE WEASLES OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER

Word up, G-Money! Should I tell her she misspelled “Weasels,” and has problems with plurality? Nah, probably not. I would hate for Marlene to get a migraine and blame it on me, The White Devil. We continue:

6:12pm - EVER HEARD OF KARMA? DESPITE YOUR ILLUSIONARY PRIVILEDGE IT DOES APPLY TO YOU.

VOLUNTEER SLAVES, AND INVOLUNTEER SLAVES ARE THE ONLY KIND OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA. AND ONLY BLACKS ARE WRITTEN IN HISTORY AS THE INVOLUNTEER SLAVES.

SO AL SHARPTON IS STILL LIVING THAT HISTORY. WHEN ARE YOU VOLUNTEER SLAVES GOING TO CATCH UP AND FIGHT THE MEDIA MONOPOLY

Wow. Hey Marlene, spell check comes free with most computers now. All you have to do is push a button. You can do that, can’t you, Marlene? Surely you have opposable thumbs. Eh, maybe not.

6:36pm - Typical volunteer slaves, threatened by Black Assertion/

two kinds of Americans volunteer slaves, and involunteer slaves. Blacks are the only one written in history and by Supreme court law as involunteer slaves. All the rest of you are volunteer slaves for the New world Order, that is why you approved an American dream built from 400 years of involuntary servitude, at that moment you approved of slavery and became volunteer slaves. that is why you are too ignant to fight like an Involuntary Slave, like Al sharpton against media monopolies, that will soon take the internet from all the fuzzmouth volunteer slave widgets, who sold the world out. Blacks was here before the Indians, before, the whites, before the mexicans, before the constitution. The first President was Black John hanson, President under the Articles of Confederation. Blacks called the Olmecs was in Americas before the transatlantic slave trade. All your freedoms, like the 2nd amendment to be argued have to be traced back to Black males after the Civil war.
Al Sharpton, makes all of you volunteer slaves jealous and hateful, symptoms of volunteer slaves.

The best part of this entry? She actually spells “ignorant” as “ignant.” She must have sounded it out by remembering the scene from Trading Places: “Yeah, the phone in his limo was busted. What are ya, ignant?” Priceless. We move on . . .

6:38pm - Ha ha scared of the truth you weasle, that is why the internet will be taken down. just like you stop free speech from me, your free speech will be stopped

Again with the “weasle?” Looks like you can’t teach an old welfare mom new tricks - although I am sure Marlene has turned a few on the streets of Boston. Her ip address tracks from there.

Look, I could go on and on - since I am sure this broad will never stop commenting - but one can only take so much comedy in one day. I would post more of Marlene’s rants, but I already volunteered to be a slave tonight for the New World Order. Thank you, Marlene. Truly. Your correspondence will keep people laughing with at you for months and months to come.

Topics: Hate Mail |

27 Responses to “Hate Mail O’ The Week”

  1. AJ Lynch Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    “You are a simples”. LOL WTF?

  2. Snigs Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Thanks for sharing that Wyatt. I needed a good laugh. :D

  3. Kim Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    I’m a slave? Wow. I guess that makes sense. I mean if I don’t feed my children, they revolt. Right?

  4. USA_Admiral Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Dude, you get the best hate mail I have ever seen.

    My guess, you hit the sore spot on her worthless ass.

  5. George Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    Wow how many slaves do you own? In grade school i used to own pagen children is that the same? G

  6. dragonlady474 Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    That is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks. lolol
    btw…What history book was she reading? Are you kidding me?? lol

  7. Easily Lost Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Thanks, needed that

  8. JoeMama Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    way to be oppressing people for the last 400, jerk.

    GIVE ME YOUR SECRET OF REJUVINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MUST LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 12:19 am

    I hate people who can’t spell.

  10. dorkelina Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 2:21 am

    I agree with AJ- LOL WTF?

  11. GroovyVic Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:42 am

    Oh my….

    Hope and change, Wyatt!

    Feh…

  12. Maggie Mama Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 7:50 am

    “All your freedoms, like the 2nd amendment to be argued have to be traced back to Black males after the Civil War.”

    Uh, could somebody explain to this WHITE blond what she meant?

    Duh, I’m just not “getting it” no matter how many times I’ve reread her words.

  13. Woody Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 8:08 am

    COMEDY GOLD!

  14. Morgan Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 8:14 am

    Interesting rant; for a minute I thought it was something written by Al Sharpton!

  15. Doghouse Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 9:39 am

    Um, we need to stand with Al against “Big Media”? Where would Al be WITHOUT “Big Media”?

  16. Jason Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 9:52 am

    She is right, Al Sharpy Sharpton does make me jealous and hateful. I hate that I have to even hear the sound of his dreadful voice and I am jealous of anyone who has no idea of who Al Sharpon is.

    Whenever I hear the “new world order” I immediately think kook.

    Jason

  17. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 10:28 am

    wow, I think i almost had a brain aneurism in reading that and trying to decipher it. Very entertaining though!

    …sadly, she’s probably a voter too. *rolls eyes*

  18. Randal Graves Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 10:38 am

    I’m so glad the the NWO is coming back to wrestling!

  19. Alan B Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 11:01 am

    For the last few months I have been a daily reader and commenter on this site. I have come to understand some weird terminology like humpday - a term unknown in England but equally easily understood (once explained).

    I have picked up some knowledge of ice hockey and learnt a bit about large city politics. I have rejoiced with the Marshall and wept with him.

    I thought I was getting into the idea of American English and realised it is not too far different from the real thing (”The Queen’s English”).

    But this post beats me totally. Just what exactly is this woman trying to say? What language is she using? What system of formal logic? What history? What evidence?

    What a truck-full of antediluvian shoemakers!!

    WHY WAS THERE NO DUCT TAPE WARNING??

  20. kaveman Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Who wants to bet there’s a block of gubmint cheese in her fridge and she has some decent microwave recipes for spam?

  21. Rick Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Wyatt,
    Did you tape your head before reading this crap?

  22. Warm Mountain Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot with this woman? Yikes!

  23. Janet Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Captain America sent me over here to check out your page on the injured officer; very sad. Then I read this little gem of hate mail… classic comedy. :)

  24. rachel Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Gee Wyatt Earp, I didn’t know you owned slaves! I didn’t know Al Sharpton, in his fancy digs, ever WAS one! I must be ignant! Marlene taught me a good lesson.

    Oy vey….I guess our Democrat controlled public schools are still turning out ignant boobs.

  25. James Says:
    February 26th, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    wtf lol thats the most insane thing ive ever heard almost as funny as the ppl that believe the indians where muslims lol

  26. Marvin Says:
    February 27th, 2009 at 1:34 am

    Damn,
    Why did my
    Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandpa
    ever buy her
    Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandma
    off of the boat?

  27. Deathlok Says:
    February 27th, 2009 at 8:31 am

    I was going to comment about the Irish and Chinese “slavery” working on the railroad.. . . The blacks were treated better. . . .I just couldn’t get passed finding out that you were a whore. I can’t wait until Man’s Weekend this year. . . .if you go . . . . .

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