Do Not Open Until Christmas
By Wyatt Earp | September 12, 2008
Do not adjust your computer monitors. Yes, that is an ultrasound picture of a child. Yes, that child happens to be mine. Yes, that picture was taken this afternoon.
I know what you’re thinking: “But Wyatt, how could this have happened?”
Well, you see, when a man and a woman are in love, sometimes they get that feeling, and . . . Oh, you probably already know how babies are made. Well, maybe not Insolublog, but the rest of you are caught up on that. Heh. Hopefully, I will be able to clear up any questions you may have with the following tidbits:
1. The vasectomy – as far as we know – worked fine. When I had the procedure, the missus was already pregnant. I was supposed to get snipped after the birth of Kevin (Feb. 14), but I put it off. Oops!
2. Here’s an important safety tip: If your wife just had a baby, she is incredibly fertile afterward. Medical experts that the wife and I are, we thought the opposite. When Kevin was born, I had lost most of my Blogger Blubber Battle weight. The missus had gestational diabetes, and she was put on a special diet which helped her lose a lot of weight. Suddenly, we were two people who looked a lot better to each other, and when she was cleared, we spent a lot of quality time together.
Then, one night, she came downstairs while wearing my Slovakia hockey jersey, and . . . well, I’ve said too much.
At Kevin’s christening in April – remember, he was born in February – we were already starting to panic. We thought there was a chance the wife was pregnant, but we didn’t say a word. After fretting and sweating for another month, she took a pregnancy test, and voila’ – parents again.
3. The wife and I have been sitting on this news since May. Although it is a true blessing, the news of the pregnancy has been a little stressful. We’ll really need to buckle down with “Irish Twins,” but we’ll be okay. However, I haven’t been on a lot of your blogs for a while, and some of my postings have been lame. I am not losing interest in blogging, and I am not quitting, but I want you all to know that I have had a lot on my mind for the past few months.
So, that brings us to today. We went to the hospital for the ultrasound and the tech asked us if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. I replied, “Well, we already know, because I only produce boys, but if you want to confirm it for us, go right ahead.” The tech moved the scope around a little, turned to me, smiled, and said, “You were wrong.”
The first (and last) Earp Girl is due on January 3, 2008. We couldn’t be happier.
Topics: The Girl | 37 Comments »
YAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though it is an unexpected and unplanned little one, it is the most beautiful of blessings! Congratulations to you both.
Congratulations on being punished with a baby…
Love, Barack.
STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE BED MAN!
RT – Yeah, it’s cool. As for a girl: fourth time’s the charm!
Fiar – Bwahahahahaha! Nice one!
Tyler – Yeah, we need to find a hobby. Well, a different hobby!
Remember, fifteen years from now when the first date comes over, make sure you spend a lot of time talking to him about all the homicides you worked, and how you would never commit murder, but if you ever did, you could make it look like an accident.
A girl. God help her.
congrats
Marvin – She’s not here yet, and already she’s grounded until she’s 45. And when that date does come over, me and my sons will be sitting outside . . . with shotguns.
Grimjack – Thank you, sir. You’ll have to tell me the tricks of the trade.
Let your wife know that tandem nursing is possible and it is perfectly safe to nurse all through a pregnancy. (If she is still nursing.) I speak from experience. Just ask Bethany and Hannah.
As for having a girl…. God help her. She’s gonna need it in your household.
You trying to have more than me?
Kim – Yeah, it’s an onslaught of testosterone here. It rocks!
BWH – Not on purpose!
God help her nothing- God best be helping you Wyatt. Your girl is likely to be tougher than a pine knot and she’s going to have you so wrapped around her tiny little finger from the get-go it won’t even be funny.
I speak from experience- 2 stepsons and a son of my own, then *wham* we had a girl. From prim and proper ladylike doll to Dick the Bruiser in two seconds I tell you. She gave her 14 year old half brother a concussion when she was 13 months old. (Never underestimate the power of a See & Say in the hands of a ticked off toddler)
Congratulations to you and the Mrs.!
I am so happy for you. What a lucky little girl to have all those big brothers to look after her. Congratulation to both of you.
Very Cool!
Congratulations! Now give your poor wife a back and foot rub.
I am refusing to make any sarcastic comments!
I mean, Wyatt always picks on me for all my oodles of kids, and look what happened.
Way to go, man. Really. ^_^
Nursing through pregnancy though- it takes a lot out of a person. I didn’t put on an ounce of weight for the first 3 months when I was knocked up last. And my son wasn’t getting enough from what milk he was getting. So if that is the situation, I am hoping the docs are keeping close tabs on everyone?
Congratulations!
A girl! Well congratulations to you and Mrs. Wyatt. This is exactly what happened to my fitness teacher. She and her husband had three boys, thought it was all over and then bingo – they have a girl. And they all adore her.
Congatulations to you and the missus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been in stage 2, Grandchildren, and it is still exciting and wonderful.
Oh Wyatt! Congratulations! Your three boys are going to be very protective of their little sister, you just watch.
And, as for names…I think Victoria is a perfect choice.
I’m not biased or anything.
Congrats!!!
I’ll set a cigar aside.
Terrific! I have twin daughters born January 3, 1995. (Will you need babysitters?) It still gets better every day.
Infant twins were exhausting and exhilirating. IMHO having two kids less than two years apart is harder than having twins. Ours were usually on the same schedule. Get sleep now. Good luck!
Snigs – Thanks! I’ll unleash Hurricane Erik (4) on her, and she’ll instantly be the toughest gal on the block.
Momster – Thanks!
Dennis – Yeah, it’s a scene, man!
ArkieRN – Why? She sits around all day and eats bon-bons. *ducks*
Dorkelina – No worries there: the missus isn’t feeding. And thanks for not laughing too loud at this . . . I know it’s killing you inside!
Prof – Thank you, sir!
Ky person – We would have been happy either way, but it’s exciting that it’s a girl.
GM Cassel – Thanks, sir! We’re really happy.
GroovyVic – No, not at all. We have a few names in mind already, but only the middle name is set in stone.
Sully – Giddyup!
Jim – Yeah, ours will be about ten months apart, but with the way Kevin is growing, he could be crawling in no time. He sleeps through the night, too, so that makes things easier.
Woo-hoo! Haaaaaaawesome. My youngest two are eleven months apart. And to think, I had to go thru IVF to get the eldest. Two spontaneous bundles o’ joy in a row. Whew! I knew I was in trouble when the nurses in the hospital said, “Weren’t you just here? Don’t I know you?” He he.
Congratulations, it will really be like having 1 kid with 2 heads. I love it!
I always thought Holly to be a nice name, especially for a Christmas baby.
Congratulations to you both – what a wonderful surprise! And I thought I was overwhelmed with two….
Best of wishes to both you and the missus, as well as the other little ones.
Congratulations! There’s nothing else to say. Except good luck!
Sugar and spice and everything nice…
that’s what little girls are made of….
So excited for you! The best gifts are surprises!
My dad was a cop–a Captain. He used to just sit and stare at my dates with his arms crossed. He scared them all to death. Have fun.
In all seriousness, though Wyatt, congratulations. The best of all possible news.
Hmm. Wyatt’s a hockey dad. It looks like we have another lipstick wearing pit bull in the Earp clan!
Wow!
Congratulations. I have a girl. It’s great. Not looking forward to the dating years though. We may just move to ANWR.
Monica – Thank you. We have the names narrowed down to a few, but since we never expected a girl, we’re going through the name book again.
Sean – Yeah, my old partner told me that his (ONLY) child was wearing him out. I looked at him like he had three heads, since I am about to have my 4th.
Joated – Yeah, I’ll need it. Thanks.
Deanna – It was a very god day.
Trixie – Thanks. I think we’ll do that. Me, Kyle, Erik, and Kevin will encircle the poor schlub and make him wet his pants. Heh, good times.
Insol – Between her and the missus, we’ll be covered!
Woody – Thanks! Save us some room, just in case!
heh.. good show, man. Congrats!!
Smite – Thank you, sir!
Heheh, that story sounds similar to ours… I put off the vasectomy and then badabing… we have Haley! (My wife ensured that the vasectomy happened before Haley arrived but I tell you what, I wouldn’t be able to imagine life with out her! She is one lil bundle of manic energy and is already twice as smart as her older brothers, and she knows it.
There’s nothing like having a baby girl… Congrats bro!
Sorry I hadn’t been by earlier!! What a blogging friend huh?!
Dude!! Congrats!! Peaks is right, there is nothing like a baby girl!!!
But, this does give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “sure shot!”
Peak – Thanks, man. Gonna be an adventure!
Sssteve – I actually take my, um, “sample” to the urologist’s office on Wednesday. Oh, the irony!
Congrats on the new kid. A girl, huh? I hope you been taking clases at the Al Bundy school of keeping males away from the princess.