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Great Moments In Teenage Bimbo History

By Wyatt Earp | June 30, 2008

So, I am out walking my usual five-mile trek and I catch up with some teenage broads. They’re kinda cute and I glance over at them . . . until they ruin it by opening their mouths. This is their exact conversation (at least the part I heard):

Blonde Bimbo: “Ahh!”
Brunette Bimbo: “What is it?”

Blonde Bimbo: “It was a lightning bug. It landed on my face!”
Brunette Bimbo: “Get it off! They’re poisonous!”

Blonde Bimbo: “Really?”
Brunette Bimbo: “YES!”

Blonde/Brunette Bimbos: “AHHH!!!”

I fear for the future of this country.

Topics: Snarkasm | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Great Moments In Teenage Bimbo History”

  1. Chris Hansen Says:
    June 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    So, I am out walking my usual five-mile trek and I catch up with some teenage broads. They’re kinda cute and I glance over at them

    Why don’t you have a seat over there?

  2. RT Says:
    June 30th, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    Why do you think I want to quit teaching. A full day of that nonsense and my head wants to explode.

    Were they cracking/popping bubble gum, too? They sound annoying enough to be doing that…..I hate that.

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 30th, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    RT – I couldn’t tell, but they were wearing what looked like belts for shorts. Ho – oars!

  4. USA_Admiral Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 7:43 am

    It sounds like a really intelligent conversation for today “Bimbos.”

    At least she did not try to take a movie of the event and post it on YouTube or text everyone in her “circle” on her near fatal poisoning.

  5. Ky Person Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 8:06 am

    I teach at the college level. They are there too. There are times I fear for my country – but then I look at the men and women in the military and realize there are some sensible people out there.

  6. Randal Graves Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 8:21 am

    At least the conversation wasn’t:

    Blonde Bimbo: “Ahh!”
    Brunette Bimbo: “What is it?”

    Blonde Bimbo: “Fat, old dude, 7 o’clock.”

  7. Earl Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 8:39 am

    Takes until they are twenty-four or so for their brain to engate – and never while in conversation with another of their species – luckily they aren’t ever going to be in charge of anything – they are just mobile Barbi dolls… forever.

  8. vincent_antonelli Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 9:02 am

    Fool! That was your chance to run over, claim you are a medical physician, and offer them your special “anti-toxin”!

    You only have so long to sow the Earp seed you know, the clock is ticking!

  9. Miss Mud Puddle Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 9:50 am

    Vinnie that’s nasty…do you often offer up your “anti-toxin” to underage girls?

    NEVERMIND…don’t answer that!

  10. Rorie Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Ummmm. As a former teenage bimbo, I take offense with this post.

  11. -->Doghouse --> Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 10:32 am

    It’s the light from the lightning bug that kills you.

    Go into the light …

  12. vincent_antonelli Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 11:40 am

    It was never officially stated that they were underage. 18 is teenage!

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Admiral – Actually, that would have been awesome. Then I could tell everyone, “I was there, saw the whole thing, and proudly did nothing!”

    Ky person – Unfortunately nowadays, college ruins a lot of people. And you’re a teacher? Now I’m intimidated. Please point out any and all mistakes, ma’am!

    Randal – LESS FAT!!!

    Earl – You say that like it’s always a bad thing.

    Vinnie – 24 days left until the snip. Not that I’m counting the days or anything.

    MMP – You have no idea. I mean, he offers, but the offer is never accepted.

    Rorie – Are you a former teenager, or a former bimbo? Ha!

    Doghouse – Bawahahahahahahahaha!!!

    Vinnie – So is 19!

  14. rightwingprof Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Har! See here.

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Prof – I’ll read it like, you know, whenever. Ha!

  16. jdw3rd Says:
    May 1st, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Wyatt et’ al

    They are in fact toxic but most likely a human ( even a Bimbo ) would have to consume quite a few:

    “Just one firefly, with its poisonous lucibufagin chemicals, is enough to kill a lizard, a lesson that American zookeepers and pet owners are learning the hard way.”

    “Researchers are uncovering chemicals in fireflies that are related to their luminescence. Some of these chemicals are cardenolides, similar to digitalis. Some are like the bufodienolides found in toads. These flying beetles also contain lucibufagins, a steroidal pyrone. Luciferin, a protein, circulates through the insect’s blood stream, making the entire insect toxic to a wide variety of predators.”

    “When attacked by a predator, some fireflies shed drops of blood (hemolymph) in a process called “reflex bleeding.” The blood contains a chemical that is distasteful and even toxic to many predators.”

    “The predatory Photuris fireflies are not able to make this defensive chemical on their own, but they can gain the poison, and thus the protection, from the fireflies they eat. The poison is then passed on to their eggs and resulting larvae.”

    Amazing what a little research can uncover!