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Easily The Funniest Headline In History

By Wyatt Earp | July 9, 2010

Are you ready? Here it is:


Olympic bronze medalist Walter Dix edged out Tyson Gay in the former world champion’s hotly-anticipated return to the 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League meeting on Saturday.

Dix, who won the 100 meters and placed second at the U.S. nationals last weekend, said his race experience had helped, “but I’m a little beat up, too.”

“I was a little sloppy out of the blocks, but I was able to hold on,” he added. “Tyson gave me great competition.”

What can I possibly add to this? The funny just writes itself, kids.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “Easily The Funniest Headline In History”

  1. GroovyVic Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 7:23 am

    Oh my. I laughed out loud and woke up the kids.

  2. John D Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 9:13 am

    Trying to think of something sarcastic to write, but I got nothin’.

  3. Robert B. Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Yep. That would be a hard one to beat. (Heh.)

  4. Sully Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Talk about winning by inches… Sheesh…

  5. C/A Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 10:33 am

    That had to be a long race…

    WHO authorized THAT matchup? wow

  6. Mike47 Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 11:11 am

    Where do you GET this stuff?

  7. Raptor Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I’m trying to think of something witty or sarcastic to add, but I’ve got nothin’.

    Where do you find stuff like this?

  8. Wes S. Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Anybody would be tired after 200 meters’ worth of Dix, Gay or not…


  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 11:44 am

    GroovyVic – Sorry about that.

    John D – I know. Nothing can top that headline.

    Robert B. – Well played.

    Sully – Better than winning by a foot, I guess.

    Captain – Some editor is collecting unemployment this morning.

    Mike47 – If I told you then every blog would be able to post it!

    Raptor – I spend A LOT of time online looking for stuff to entertain you good people.

    Wes S. – Well, maybe not Paris and Perez Hilton . . .

  10. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 11:56 am

    Nice to know newspaper folks have a sense of humor.
    “A-Rod Goes Deep, Wang Hurt.”

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – Dating Madonna will do that to a guy.

  12. BobG Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    “It wasn’t bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end,” Gay said. “I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn’t enough.”

    Too much Dix will do that to you, I guess…

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    BobG – Just ask Lindsay Lohan.

  14. kaveman Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    Here’s a head line that might be appreciated by this lot…

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Kaveman – Shocka! It’s okay, I’ll bet Bammy will just appoint another czar.

  16. Crazy Politico Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    If I had 200 meters worth of Dix I’d make movies.

  17. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 10th, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    CP – And Mrs. CP would be a very lucky woman.