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Twilight Fans Camp Out For Premiere

By Wyatt Earp | June 23, 2010

Ooh, will someone

Hundreds of fans are awaiting Thursday night’s red-carpet premiere of “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse,” the third installment of the vampire movie series. The movie opens in theaters June 30.

Scripts are in the works for more “Twilight” movies.

About 9,000 wristbands are being handed out to fans, who began erecting tents Monday on concrete steps outside the theater. Nokia officials, who have issued a list of camping rules, say the wristbands must be worn until the premiere is over.

Wow, that is hella-gay. Let me try and put you knuckleheads on the right track. Blade is a vampire, and he kills other vampires for fun and profit. Edward is a blow-dried, prissy, closet homosexual – not that there’s anything wrong with that. See the difference?

That being said, the premiere is a week away, morons! Don’t you people have jobs? Who has time to camp out on line for that long? And furthermore, you camp out for a week to land tickets to a Beatles reunion or a Star Wars film, not a douchetastic teen squishfest!!!

Now run home to your mommies and never speak of this again.

Topics: Snarkasm | 20 Comments »

20 Responses to “Twilight Fans Camp Out For Premiere”

  1. Ace Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Save you a place in line? You can have the spot I’m not using.

  2. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Actually I’m rooting for the werewolves, especially ones not constrained by the phases of the moon such as in the Underworld triliogy and Twilight. In fact I would arm the werewolve Indian clan with the MP5′s with the artificial sunshine/ultraviolet bullets from Underworld and they wouldn’t even need to shape shift to kill off the vastly overrated vampires.

  3. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 9:13 am

    I’m glad the fans are “erecting tents”. Those kids are going to have to find something fun to do with all that time on their hands.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Ace – Suh-weet!

    Jon – Wow, that comment frightened me a little.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Heh, heh, “erecting.”

  5. Old NFO Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Gee Wyatt, I didn’t know you were into THAT movie series :-)

  6. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 9:56 am

    “You camp out for a week to land tickets to a Beatles reunion.”

    ..or a Led Zeppelin concert at the old Chicago Stadium.

    Look kids, stay home and volunteer at a homeless shelter on that night, help your parents out around the house or help organize the next Tea Party event in your town.

    Do something useful and productive, not waiting in line for another stupid, hollywood pretty boy vampire flick.

    Besides, it will be at Redbox by September.

  7. Wes S. Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 10:47 am

    That’s exactly how Twilight should have ended.

    Pity Edward didn’t try his shtick in Sunnyvale, with Buffy. Then it wouldn’t have gotten started in the first place…

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Old NFO – I own the Blade trilogy. It’s top-notch. Twilight? Not so much.

    Ferrell – It’s not like they won’t be able to see it ad nauseum for weeks on end.

    Wes S. – Mmm . . . stakey!

  9. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 11:11 am

    Wyatt I think you would love the Underworld trilogy also.
    Werewolves, vampires and modern weaponry (with enhanced ammunition) is a delightful treat.

  10. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 11:25 am

    I’m still laughing……….

  11. Dannytheman Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    It hurts my senses to see a vampire movie become a chick flick. When I bit my wife she slugged me.

    I guess me not being a “blow-dried, prissy, closet homosexual,” makes thing different.

    Send me Bella Lagossi.

  12. Ingineer66 Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    This all started when they let Tom Cruise be a vampire. Find a real man to be a vampire.

  13. Thomas F Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    How do you kill a Twilight vampire…….

    Put the CD in the Microwave for 30 seconds.

    Wyatt, have you watched the “The Good Guys”, on FOX…..

    Stark is hilarious…..

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Jon – Loved the first one but I haven’t seen the second. But come on, Kate Beckinsale in leather? Of course I saw that!

    LDIV – Yeah, me too.

    Danny – Interview With the Vampire looks manly next to this claptrap.

    Ingineer66 – It’s like you’re reading my mind.

    Thomas F – It looked good, but I haven’t seen an episode yet.

  15. jimmyb Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Speaking of Twitlight:

    The Twilight of the Damned


  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    JimmyB – Oh, for God’s sake!

  17. Rob in Katy Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    Vampire movies sorta lost me when the “boob” count went way down in the late 80′s – just saying :)

  18. Sally Anne Says:
    June 24th, 2010 at 10:15 am

    The books are hardly fine literature, but they are entertaining- fantasy romance for teens. What’s creepy to me are the women my age and older who are all slobbery about this crap.

    The most unbelievable part of these books is the love story. The vampire bites are a heck of a lot more likely. Every author reimagines vampire canon, that’s their right. These are not the worst books I’ve read.

    However, the first movie is good only for the soundtrack songs. *barf*

  19. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 24th, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Rob – You want your vampires to be more like vamps, then?

    S.A. – Oh, you know you classify yourself as “Team Edward.”

  20. Sally Anne Says:
    June 24th, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Actually no, I rooted for the wolf when I read ‘em.