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Patriots Mascot Huddles With Prostitutes

By Wyatt Earp | December 12, 2009

Pat The Patriot likes prostitutes

Do you see how Pat the Patriot is creeping up to that chick on the right? Yeah, apparently he likes to get his freak on.

Pat the Patriot, beloved mascot of the New England Patriots and inspiration to Boston-area children since 1960, has been arrested in a prostitution sting. But it gets worse: Evidently Pat was caught answering a naughty ad on Craigslist. Placed by a policeman in Rhode Island.

Rumor has it that local prostitutes called Pat by his other nickname, “The Revolutionary Minuteman.” They did not mean it as a compliment:

Law enforcement sources told NBC 10 one of the johns who tried to pay for sex with a prostitute was 47-year-old Robert Sormanti of Warwick. He is one of several people who plays the Pat the Patriot mascot.

Okay, let’s begin:

1. Reportedly, one of the prostitutes asked, “If that foam rubber in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”

2. Pat asked for a “Hail Mary,” but was told that costs $20 extra.

3. Pat was amazed that he could still get his pigskin through a girl’s goalposts . . .

Topics: Evil = Funny | 11 Comments »

11 Responses to “Patriots Mascot Huddles With Prostitutes”

  1. Jeffro Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Pat liked it when the girls roughed his punter.

  2. Raptor Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    Wyatt, you owe me a new keyboard. On a similar note; spraying bottled water through one’s nose is actually quite uncomfortable.

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Jeffro – Bawahahahahahaha!

    Raptor – Could be worse. You could have been drinking whiskey.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    Watch where you stick that bayonet.

  5. RT Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    The British are….oh, never mind. ;)

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – Someone could put an eye out!

    RT – Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

  7. Watuschski Says:
    December 12th, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    So the guy likes girls — So what??

  8. proof Says:
    December 13th, 2009 at 12:23 am

    Was he called for “Illegal use of hands”?

  9. Fenway_Nation Says:
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:19 am

    At this point, Pat is just glad to be able to split the uprights.

  10. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 13th, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Q. What’s the difference between Santa and Pat the Patriot?

    A. Santa stops at 3 Ho’s.

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    Watuschski – Victimless crime, but it’s posted merely for humor value.

    Proof – Or holding . . . (his junk.)

    Fenway_Nation – Bawahahahaha! You guys must be laughing your asses off up there.

    Mrs. Crankipants – POW!