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True Detective Stories

By Wyatt Earp | November 11, 2009

shieldWhen you have been in the law enforcement profession for as long as I have, you get used to the same tired excuses and bullsh*t stories. You are always a little surprised when you hear one, if for no other reason than because people cannot be that stupid. Take tonight, for example.

A woman comes to the window and explains that she was the victim of a robbery on Tuesday night. I remembered her, because the robbery occurred while I was working. Anyway, she said that the woman who robbed her was arrested today. I asked her how she knew so quickly, and she replied that the suspect’s mother came to the victim’s store. Mommy apparently told the victim that her precious, innocent daughter could not have robbed her because she was with Mommy all day.

The victim actually bought that load of crap.

The victim said that she didn’t want to press charges because the suspect was innocent – because Mommy told her so – and she didn’t want to get sued for having the wrong person arrested.

It was at this point that my head exploded.

After picking up the pieces of flesh and bone, I taped my skull back together and said, “Ma’am, did it ever occur to you that Mommy was lying? What did you think she was going to say? Did you expect her to come to your place of business – which is technically witness intimidation – and tell you that her little cherub was guilty as Hell?”

The victim was apparently impervious to reason, and she was adamant about dropping the charges. I explained that if she wanted to do that, she would have to do that at the bar of the court in the presence of the judge. With that, she left the building.

About an hour later, the assigned detective brought up Mommy’s little felon. After giving her Miranda Warnings, the suspect agreed to give a statement. The result? She admitted everything and signed her confession after re-reading it. Good Guys – 1, Mommy – 0.

Topics: True Detective Stories | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “True Detective Stories”

  1. Old NFO Says:
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Score one for the good guys! :-)

  2. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Me thinks mommy is the reason that daughter turned out the way she did.

  3. RT Says:
    November 11th, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    The culture of intimidation….sucks rocks.

    Glad the good guys got one. :)

  4. proof Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 12:31 am

    With a fine, upstanding mother like that for an example, it’s hard to believe the little darling went bad!

  5. Jon Brooks Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:03 am

    I think the store owner should be a little more wary the next few days regarding Mommy revenge, and have those store tapes a-rollin’, as well as a behind the counter equalizer. I believe the victim was probably threatened with more than just a lawsuit.

    “No matter what his skill, speed, strength or size, call on your trusty firearm and I will equalize.”

  6. metoo Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:52 am

    Another case of the acorn falling way to close to the tree. Someone should arrest the mom for harassment.

  7. Rick Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:25 am

    But her little angel was with mommy all day.
    What a line of crap.

  8. Echosix Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    I think the store owner should be a little more wary the next few days regarding Mommy revenge

    Nah. She doesn’t deserve safety. It will be better for the rest of us if Mommy Darest pounds the snot out of her.

  9. Lergnom Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Last time I was on jury duty, I heard the expression “snitches get stitches” . This sounds like something like that. Mommy revenge sounds about right. Watch the news.

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Old NFO – Without the confession, the story wouldn’t be as good.

    DL474 – I agree.

    RT – It happens occasionally.

    Proof – The prototypical enabler.

    Jon – I told her to call 911 the next time she comes in.

    MeToo – The assigned detective is considering it.

    Rick – If it were my son or daughter, I’d let them suffer the consequences. Only way they’ll learn.

    Echosix – Maybe it will knock some sense into her? Nah, not likely.

    Lergnom – If it happens, we know where Mommy lives. An easy warrant.