By Wyatt Earp | September 26, 2009
Deathlok uses this title at least once a year when sending our fantasy hockey stats, so I thought it was appropriate here. You may want to set your faces to “stunned.”
LOS ANGELES – When Jessica Biel, Lupe Fiasco and Isabel Lucas get together in Africa, they’ll have nowhere to go but up.
The entertainers have signed on to climb the continent’s highest peak — Mount Kilimanjaro, at more than 19,000 feet — to raise awareness about the need for clean water worldwide.
Water? Puh-lease. Gatorade is better. Cue The Waterboy:“Water sucks, it really, really sucks . . . “
Biel, 27, said she was “astonished” to learn that more than a billion people across the globe have no access to clean water.
“This is a basic human necessity that needs to be addressed now,” Biel said in a statement, adding that she’s proud to climb Kilimanjaro with the celebrity team “to help any way I can in order to raise awareness toward the life-threatening clean water crisis happening not only in Africa but around the world.” ()
She was “astonished” that there was not a lot of clean water in Africa? Really?? Someone should tell poor Jess that “hot and stupid” was Jessica Simpson’s shtick. “Hot and a terrible actress” is hers.
Any bets on which of her smart publicists helped her spell and sound out the word “astonished?”
SYLG’s Official Jessica Biel Guru Jim sent this to me, partly because it was a story about Jess, and partly because it is chock full of teh funny.