By Wyatt Earp | March 8, 2009
It’s been a busy week for our elected officials. President Obama has been on the edge of his seat watching the Dow Jones plummet into Herbert Hoover territory. Secretary of State Hillary “Cankles” Clinton presented her Russian counterpart with an “Easy Button” - and a mislabeled one at that. And everyone’s favorite lush - Senator Edward Kennedy - was rewarded with an honorary knighthood from our pals across the pond.
Does anyone else keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop in and tell us we’ve been “Punk’d?”
I don’t think that is going to happen, and while the Kennedy story is unbelievable, it is also great fodder for my FSM article. Here’s a taste:
Ah, Britannia! You are the heart of the vaunted British Empire, the home of the Magna Carta, and the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution. Nations have trembled at the sight of your armed forces and bowed at the writings of your literary giants. The accomplishments of your sons and daughters have built a reputation of honor and integrity.
And you folks are screwing it up in one fell swoop!
Earlier this week, Prime Minister Gordon Brown made an announcement that sent ripples through the brandy snifters of Democrat bluebloods everywhere. Apparently, the Brits have seen fit to award oft-inebriated, never duplicated Massachusetts Sen. Edward Kennedy with an honorary knighthood. Seriously.
Forget blood pudding, Shepherd’s pie, and warm ale; this decision is more nauseating than all of them combined! Uncle Ted Kennedy? The same Ted Kennedy who was involved in that “car accident” at Chappaquiddick, barhopped until dawn with his “nephews,” and ran a Dennis Kucinich-esque campaign for president in 1980? That Ted Kennedy? Prime Minister Brown must surely realize that in English lore, Kennedy would be more suited as an honorary dragon than an honorary knight!
You can read the rest of the jocularity HERE.
Topics: FSM |