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Man Sues After Strip Club Injury

By Wyatt Earp | January 23, 2009


I wonder if the stripper looked like Jessica Alba? What???

AKRON, Ohio — A northeast Ohio man who was smacked in the nose by a stripper’s platform-style shoe is suing a nightclub for $25,000 over injuries he says will require surgery.

Yusuf Evans says in a lawsuit filed Tuesday that he was seated near the stage at the XTC nightclub in Akron last year while a stripper nicknamed “Tiara” performed her routine.

Why did they feel the need to put the dancer’s name in quotations? These girls use their real names, kids! Kandi, Jazzmyn, and Sexual Chocolate are all legitimate first names nowadays!

Evans says the demonstrative kick caused the stripper’s 1970s-style thick-heeled shoe to fly from her foot and into his face. He says he’s had trouble breathing ever since.

But in all fairness, the 70’s shoes were funky!

Evans’ lawsuit in Summit County Common Pleas Court says XTC management allowed dancers to wear improper attire and required strippers to perform dances that made the stage “a hazardous area.”

Evans says he doesn’t normally frequent strip clubs, but made an exception when a cousin visited. (H/T - FOXNews)

Uh-huh. Everyone who thinks he’s lying, raise a dollar bill and wave it around! Look, the “I don’t usually go to strip clubs” line is the oldest excuse in the book. Every guy goes to the nudie bar once in a while. Where else will you get to drink a few adult beverages, listen to some rock music, bond with your loser friends, and convince yourself that the dancer is really, really into you?

Of course, once in a while, a girl gives you that wink and nod, and pretty soon you’re making plans to go to a four-star hotel for a little “cohabitation” . . . and then the broad doesn’t show up!!

Um, or so I’ve heard. Heh.

Topics: Babes, Evil = Funny |

12 Responses to “Man Sues After Strip Club Injury”

  1. dorkelina Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 8:11 am

    What I wonder is if “Tiara” is ok!

    She could have really hurt herself if she was suddenly eight inches shorter on one side, and quite possibly top heavy to boot… She could have really injured her back and/or ankles.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 8:39 am

    Dorkelina - I think I may have some space at Casa de Earp if she needs to recuperate. She can do rehab dancing around my hockey sticks . . . and that is not a euphemism.

  3. Morgan Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Interesting thing about the guy suing, Yusuf. Makes me wonder if he has a wife at home with a covered face. After all, you know, he doesn’t usually go to strip clubs.

  4. Morgan Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 am

    By the way, that last comment was supposed to be a joke. If it was confusing or unfunny, sorry about that.

  5. John D Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Did they let him keep the shoe? Just wondering.

  6. GroovyVic Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 10:08 am

    “Sexual Chocolate…” *giggle*

  7. Deanna Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 10:44 am

    He must not have noticed the sign that said, “Enter at your own risk.”

  8. Diller Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 11:25 am

    He had those paste’y things over his eyes…..never saw it coming. Love to be on jury duty on this one.

  9. Trialdog Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 am

    Now, don’t you guys wish you were lawyers? If I were the defense attorney, I know I’d have to conduct extensive depositions, of dozens of witnesses. I’d have to learn exactly what the plaintiff means in the complaint when he says the dancers were allowed to wear “improper attire.” Then, I’d have to interview and hire several professional witnesses to testify as to exactly what “improper attire” on a dancer consists of. This case could take years.

  10. Doghouse Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    I’m sorry, I didn’t see anything after that picture.

  11. pat Says:
    January 23rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    What is a Muslim doing at a strip club?

  12. USA_Admiral Says:
    January 24th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Nobody ever usually goes to strip clubs, unless they are on the way home, shopping, going to work or coming home from work.

    Makes you wonder how bad this guys reaction time was. I guess with his hands busy and his eyes closed he did not see it coming?