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Sleep Comes Down

By Wyatt Earp | September 18, 2008

Of course, I’ll never see it when it does.

When you’ve had about nine hours sleep in three days, functionality is not easily attained. (Wow, that’s a pretty good sentence for someone who’s brain is completely fried.) Why so sleepy? Well, the missus is still in the hospital, I am still playing Mr. Mom to glorious acclaim, and Kevin is in the middle of teething. Last night, he got a little more sleep than I did, but not much. Succinctly stated, I’m a zombie.

So, in that vein, here is a top ten list for your reading pleasure.

Top Ten Good Things About Being Awake For Three Days

10. Screaming kids make me forget the money I’m losing by being out of work.
9. I can actually hear my brain shutting down.
8. Imaginary bugs on my skin ward off parasites.
7. It’s easier to miss the grammatical errors at First In!
6. I finally “get” baseball. And it’s still boring.
5. Like the Hobbits, I can now have conversations with trees.
4. Two words: Mountain Dew.
3. Barack Obama’s liberal policies begin to appear reasonable.
2. Random bouts of dizziness are like being drunk . . . without the hangover.

And the number one good thing about being awake for three days is . . .

1. I’m too tired to yell “Giggity! Giggity! Giggity!” at hot broads!

Topics: Top Ten List |

11 Responses to “Sleep Comes Down”

  1. momster Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Even when your dead tired your still incredibly funny. I love the imaginary bugs. I hope you get some sleep soon an your wife comes home all better.

  2. Vincent_Antonelli Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    You’re not overtired until you look down and ask yourself why the baby is breastfeeding.. and making gagging noises.

    If you need help staying up, just put on Nightmare on Elm Street and sing the “One, two, Freddie’s coming for you” song over and over

  3. RT Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    (Wow, that’s a pretty good sentence for someone who’s brain is completely fried.)

    I thought the same thing. :)

    Now, I’m going have nightmares because of the mental images of you breastfeeding (a teething baby no less). HA!

  4. Deanna Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    All I am going to say is this…. BOO HOO! YOUR WIFE GOES THROUGH THIS ALL THE TIME!! (I hope you remember this experience when she comes home.)

  5. Old NFO Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    Hang in there Wyatt, hope your wife is up and around soon.

  6. ArkieRN Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    Sorry you’re having such a hard time. Good wishes for the missus.

  7. Insolublog Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    When I see Wyatt in a situation like this, I realize careful treatment is required.

    Stimulating political dialogue? No.

    Talk about babes and enticing implants? Nah. He has a firm handle on that subject.

    Million dollar sports figures, with season ending injuries? Hmm. Nope. He’s sick of listening to overfed babies asking for more attention.

    Ok. An applicable dialogue from a classic movie:

    Igor: You know, I’ll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him… the things he’d say to me.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?

    Igor: “What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don’t you get out of there and give someone else a chance?”

    Glad I could help.

  8. RT Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 10:52 pm

    And to add onto what Insol gave you…..

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 18th, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    Momster - If she comes home tomorrow - which seems to be the plan - I won’t get sleep tomorrow night, either. Soccer games abound early Saturday morning.

    Vinnie - 1. Damn. 2. I remember the first one,. Pretty damned scary.

    RT - I must have flipped a switch during my exhaustion.

    Deanna - I know she works her ass off, and I appreciate it (and tell her so). That being said, I am usually working when all this Mom crap is going on in the mornings, and the teething isn’t helping my sleep schedule.

    Old NFO - I took the kids to see her today, after Erik (4) asked, “Do I have a mommy anymore?”

    ArkieRN - Thank you.

    Insol - He has a firm handle on that subject. Heh. Nice Young Frankenstein reference, too.

    RT - Awesome!

  10. USA_Admiral Says:
    September 19th, 2008 at 9:13 am

    That is the best top ten list I have seen in a long time.

  11. -->Doghouse --> Says:
    September 19th, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Two and three are basically the same thing!