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Russia Wipes California From Its Map

By Wyatt Earp | August 1, 2008

<i>Take that, San Francisco!</i>

Take that, San Francisco!

Oh, it’s our answered prayers! Honey, book me a one-way flight to Moscow, post haste!

MOSCOW – California will no longer exist on the Russian map.

If only they were literal in their eradication. No, seriously; wouldn’t we all be better off if California fell into the sea? I’m just sayin’.

Russia’s north-western region of Nizhny Novgorod has decided to eliminate the tiny village of California due to the lack of inhabitants, Itar-Tass news agency reported on Thursday.

The tiny Russian village? Not the liberal hippie cesspool by the Pacific? You sons of bitches. How dare you toy with our emotions like that!

The village was set up in the 19th century by a Russian landowner as a snub to the government for selling Alaska to the United States in 1867, Tass said. (H/T – )

Strangely enough, we’ll probably see a mass exodus from our California after The Governator terminated 10,300 state employees. How’s that budget crisis working out for ya, McBain?

Topics: Snarkasm | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Russia Wipes California From Its Map”

  1. Ride Fast Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 11:30 am

    Damn you Wyatt. I assumed when I went outside my little house would be the only one left (ah la Twilight Zone). Oh wah.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 11:38 am

    Ride Fast – Sorry, chief. I was a bit disappointed, too.

  3. RKV Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    “wouldn’t we all be better off if California fell into the sea?” No, I live there, and so does my family. You wouldn’t appreciate it if I said the same about where you live, either. We’ve got our problems, but then so do other places.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    RKV – Sarcasm (sar·casm)

    1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain

    2 a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b: the use or language of sarcasm

  5. Dorkelina Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    If there was a geological event powerful enough to crack California off into the sea, it’d be a lot more than just the Californians in trouble.

    Oh, I got the sarcasm though. Even though I am from Cali too. ^_^

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 am

    Dorkelina – I figured if anyone got my sarcasm, it would be you.

  7. Lergnom Says:
    August 3rd, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    Didn’t Ah-nold also cut the remaining employees’ salaries back to minimum wage? That’ll get a lot of work done.

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 4th, 2008 at 2:08 am

    Lergnom – he did indeed. I’ sure that just boosted morale through the roof.