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By Wyatt Earp | May 24, 2007

Editor’s Note: You know you’re tired when you’re thinking up ideas like this. It may be the first in a series, depending upon whether or not you folks think it’s funny.

Good evening, and welcome to Blogger Battles! My name is Guy Smiley, and I’m coming to you live from a nondescript oil tanker in the Hudson River. This is the first in what we hope will be many installments of the series which pits two notable bloggers against each other in a no-holds-barred battle of wills. And believe me, someone will lose.

In this corner, we have former Army ass-kicker Dr. Phat Tony from Huntsville, Alabama. A blogger since June of 2005, Tony has offended more politically-correct morons than he cares to remember. Phat Tony’s turn-ons include gun pr0n, eliminating terrorists with pork products, and holding innocent goats for ransom. Although he has been lax in posting as of late, he is still the first name in funny – primarily because his moniker starts with a “D.” Dr. Phat Tony Fun Fact: He drinks twelve ounces of pork fat each day to remain impermeable to Islamic terrorists.

And, in this corner, we have former Army M.P. Pandy, currently stationed in Veneto, Italy. Pandy has been blogging since January of 2005, and is the First Lady of sarcasm. Her turn-ons include punk rock hairstyles, being pregnant, and bacon. Pandy Fun Fact: She once killed a man with a bottle of Bac-Os.

Now that we have dispensed with the pleasantries, it’s time to start battling. Let’s get it on!!!

So, who’s coming out on top? I’ll let y’all decide.

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