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People I Hate

By Wyatt Earp | September 29, 2006

These three toads are all repeat offenders, but they keep doing things that make me rush for the duct tape. And away we go.

Robert Menendez

The incumbent Democratic Senator from New Jersey is running radio ads for his reelection which attack his challenger, Republican Tom Kean, Jr. The ads describe Kean as a “Pro-War, Pro-Bush Republican” voiced over eerie evil conservative music. Kean is also described as one who voted against “Pro-Choice judges. (Read: “Tom Kean has a problem with women indiscriminately killing their unborn children.”) My question is this: if Kean is running as a Republican, wouldn’t he be fairly insane to not support the Republican President and his policies? Cripes, then he would cease being Tom Kean and start being Arlen Specter!

Kean is attempting to become the first Republican Senator from Joisy in 34 years - that should give you some insight into the voting practices of the Garden State. In my opinion, 34 years without someone else (from either party) in charge is not a good thing. It’s the sort of thing that breeds corruption. Which by the way, is the charge currently levied against Menendez. (Cue eerie evil liberal music.)

I live in Philly, so I have no stake in this race, but when the voters of New Jersey sweep Menendez into office moments before he is indicted, I will be the one laughing on the other side of the bridge.

Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell

This fat bastard will be reelected in a landslide. I guarantee it. Why? Because Philadelphia-area voters are idiots. In four years, Rendell has done little for this state except approve a pay raise for judges, lawmakers, and top government officials in an effort to “kiss a little butt” with the Legislature. Unfortunately, the size of Rendell’s war chest almost equals the size of his gut. Even a football hero like Lynn Swann has zero chance defeating this union kingpin. And the state will suffer through four more years of malaise.

Michael Smerconish

I don’t listen to Smerconish’s radio program anymore, but since he’s on the same Philly station as Glenn Beck, I have to suffer through his advertisements. Smerconish went off the deep end last summer, when he came back from vacation with a new, liberal spin on life. Since then, he has sacrificed his credibility – and, in my opinion, his self-respect – to become the mainstream media’s new darling. His newfound Oprah-esque aura must have been the impetus for his Book Club. Apparently, Smerconish invites authors to talk about their book and opens the floor for a question and answer session. This month, he is promoting disgraced New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey’s tell-all book about being “a gay American.”

Let’s forget for a minute that McGreevey resigned after appointing his boy toy – an Israeli national – to the state’s top Homeland Security position. Let’s forget for a minute that McGreevey resigned after the elections so he could assure that a fellow Democrat could take his place. Let’s forget that while his beautiful wife was giving birth to their child, McGreevey was making love to another man. What gets me is that when the scandal first surfaced, McGreevey made it appear that he was resigning because of his sexuality – not because he was embroiled in a patronage scandal. At the time, Smerconish called him on it, and (deservedly) blasted him. Now, he is not only promoting McGreevey’s book, but is probably paying McGreevey for the Book Club appearance!

The radio ads for the event include a holier-than-thou Smerconish voice over proclaiming that he doesn’t discriminate in either his reading choices, or those of his Book Club. As if to imply that if we don’t shell out money for his lousy event, we must hate homosexuals. What an arrogant ass.

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