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License To Ill

By Wyatt Earp | June 28, 2006

How did you spend your evening? I spent it wide awake, sweating, and in excruciating pain. I also spent most of the evening jumping from one hallucination to another. In fact, I wrote them down for posterity. (Any lack of funny will be blamed on my illness.)

Wyatt’s Top Ten Hallucinations

10. John Murtha and Arlen Specter keep getting re-elected.
9. Paris Hilton was a celebrity.
8. Pandy moved to Italy. That had to be an hallucination, right?
7. .
6. I was a big, dumb, fat guy with questionable social skills.
5. Sssteve chased me down his beanstalk after I stole his golden goose.
4. The New York Times was compromising national security.
3. Dr. Phat Tony was holding a goat for ransom.
2. Al Gore made a movie about global warming!

And the number one Wyatt hallucination is . . .

1. Uber brought me buffalo wings and beer while wearing a bikini.

Topics: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “License To Ill”

  1. Dr. Phat Tony Says:
    June 28th, 2006 at 3:36 pm

    That goat is as good as dead. $11 freakin’ dollars. I can’t post anymore pictures of her ’cause she’s now just a big dumb ugly goat instead of being small and cute.

  2. Crazy Politico Says:
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:00 pm

    Hope that the drugs start helping, at least by giving you better hallucinations. #1 is the only one worth having.

    Hope you feel better buddy.

  3. Big Cuz Says:
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:42 pm

    MMMMmmm…beer and hot wings…. aahahrgrghhhhhhhhhhhhh

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 12:15 am

    Doc – It’s a damned shame. Where are the PETArds when you need them?

    CP – I agree wholeheartedly!

    Big Cuz – You forgot the bikini.

  5. Little Miss Chatterbox Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 2:08 am

    LOL–you may be sick but you’re just as psycho as ever :-) )).

  6. Ssssteve Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 11:50 am

    Fe Fi fo fum I think the hallucinations were from too much rum! I know I know, crappy rhyme. I’m much better at grinding childrens bones up for meal.
    btw, you got the wrong goose, you grabbed the bronze goose! Sucka!

    thanks for the link!

  7. fmragtops Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 11:51 am

    Get well soon, Wyatt.