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A Heat-ed Exchange

By Wyatt Earp | June 29, 2006

Do you remember the Michael Mann film “Heat.” I know John D. sure does, but in case you are not familiar with the details, the film centers around a running shootout through the streets of Los Angeles. Pretty much anyone and everyone saw or heard the gunfight, and there were witnesses aplenty.

Of course, Heat is just a movie.

In real life, when a running gun battle takes place in a neighborhood, “nobody saw nuthin’.” A week ago, I was called out to process the scene of a shooting/vandalism. According to the original 911 call, two black males in a late model Pontiac were driving down the street firing at two other black males on foot. The males on foot were firing back. At least a dozen shots were fired. Time of occurrence: 11am.

Let’s do the math: four males firing at each other with at least four semi-automatic weapons. The chances the “nobody saw nuthin’” are about as good as a pregnant Britney Spears posing nude for Harper’s Bazaar (or in her case, Bizarre). But that’s the response I received when I arrived on the scene.

All told, we recovered a mere eight shell casings of the 9mm variety. At least three vehicles were shot up, many of them suffering shattered windows and windshields, and ravaged with bullet holes. Ironically, all three vehicles were 2005 or 2006 models. So, you would think that the owners would come forth with a few info nuggets.

Ha! This is Philadelphia.

The best information we received was that the shooters were black males. Oh my God, put out an APB on every black male in the tri-state area! We’ll solve this case in no time! Idiots. Yet when I don’t magically solve this case out of thin air, the residents will write to the papers and say that the detectives don’t care.

Case in point: one of the residents whose car was torn to shreds gave me zero information came to me afterwards and asked if there was a program that would compensate her for being the victim of a crime. I wanted to tell her that since her car was technically the victim of a crime, she should get bent, but I was still on probation at the time.

Topics: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “A Heat-ed Exchange”

  1. fmragtops Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    Don’t feel bad. It’s like that everywhere, not just Philly. You might as well say that’s Donaldsonville, North Baton Rouge, or any urban area.

  2. John D. Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 3:36 pm

    Heat rocks!!!!

    Actually Wyatt, the shootout in Heat is different than the one you described in one very important way. In Heat, there were cops involved in the shootout. Whenever cops use force, there are always lots of witnesses. And they all just can’t wait to testify.

  3. Tyler D. Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 3:58 pm



  4. rt Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 4:54 pm

    Has Baton Rouge had 1100 shootings since the beginning of the year (think I saw that in the news)? Not to mention all the stabbings and such? Philly has been crazy.

    That said, did any of the non-informants have “Don’t Snitch” shirts on? :) I know that the department has been pleading with the public to get-over-it and start to help. These are small neighborhoods where everyone knows what is happening. At least Philly doesn’t have casinos (yet) that thugs walk into and over a spat, just start shooting (like Vegas).

  5. Big Cuz Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 9:07 pm

    Ya know, if people would just get jobs problems like these would not occur.

    That is utterly amazing though, all these ’05 and 06′s shot up and noone will come forward? Unless the idiots shot their own cars in an insurance scam. In this city, I wouldn’t be surprised.

  6. Little Miss Chatterbox Says:
    June 29th, 2006 at 9:21 pm

    How are you feeling?

    By the way I was watching part of either Young Guns 1 or 2 and guess who was one of the sheriffs? T-bag from Prison Break, he had a mustache but sure enough it was him, weird!!

  7. jt Says:
    June 30th, 2006 at 7:41 am

    Dude, I wouldn’t do that job no matter how much you paid me.

    Be careful…