Archive for August, 2005
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Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005PARIS – Lance Armstrong denied a report Tuesday in the French sports daily L’Equipe that said the seven-time Tour de France champion used the performance-enhancing drug EPO to help win his first Tour in 1999. What, this again??? These rumors surface every time Lance wins the Tour – which, for the record, has been seven [...]
Hilton Head Case
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005As if we needed another reason to hate Paris Hilton. Hilton, America’s favorite whore, has given away her dog Tinkerbell because the teacup Chihuahua had grown too large. She subsequently snatched another Chihuahua, Bambi, who is reportedly small enough for the hotel heiress to carry. Hey, Paris, animals are not fashion accessories, you empty-headed bimbo! [...]
The Myth Of Power Night
Monday, August 22nd, 2005“God hates me. That’s what it is.” – Roger Murtaugh, Lethal Weapon Once every two weeks, the Philadelphia Police Department has a quirk in the work schedule. On this day, every officer in the city is scheduled to work. The brass call it “Power Night,” but the reality is nothing of the sort. For example, [...]
If I Wasn’t Married . . .
Sunday, August 21st, 2005. . . this is just the kind of girl I’d like to bring home to mom. Her name is Katie Nauta (or, if you prefer, “Naut-y”) and the model-turned-arse kicker will be co-staring in The Transporter 2 next month. Her role as the scantily-clad assassin has gotten her noticed by people whose opinions actually [...]
Grace Amazin’, We’re Barn Raisin’
Sunday, August 21st, 2005As I mentioned yesterday, my friend Bill and I went on a road trip to Amish Country – aka Lancaster, PA – to see the Camden Riversharks play the Lancaster Barnstormers. The trip consisted of about 25 Sharks fans, who met at 4pm. Bill and I pull up to the meeting point, and . . [...]
Sleepy Hollow
Saturday, August 20th, 2005Sorry for the lack of posting this morning, but my arse is draggin’. I finished work on Friday morning, and got about four hours sleep (so as to not waste my first day off). Last night, I went out with my friends, and we closed the bar. By the time I crawled under the covers, [...]
Ain’t It The Truth?
Friday, August 19th, 2005The First Annual Idiot Awards
Friday, August 19th, 2005You can’t tell me that a full moon doesn’t affect people. In my experience, it especially affects idiots (and not in a good way). Scientists can blame it on the gravitational pull or cosmic rays, but the bottom line is this: police officers dread when the moon is full. Last night was one for the [...]
Many Tanks!
Friday, August 19th, 2005I have been called a lot of things (fat, stupid, fat and stupid) but I’ve never been called ungrateful. I asked for help yesterday with my Navbar sizing problem, and although the problem seems to have corrected itself, I appreciate the efforts of the folks who chimed in with advice. I am a man of [...]
All Cars Stand By . . .
Thursday, August 18th, 2005“All cars stand by. All cars stand by. In the SYLG district, assist the officer, police by radio.” I need a little help, kids. Blogger just inserted a “Flag?” button in the top Navbar. It’s Blogger’s safety net against “potentially questionable content.” Basically, it’s CYA for them. I have no problem with the concept, since [...]
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