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Russian Cat Has A Dynamite Personality

Monday, November 15th, 2010

A woman in St. Petersburg, Russia made terrific use of the city’s 911 system recently. The woman, who obviously dabbles in vodka, claimed her cat was going to kill her in a suicide bombing attack. A lot of things have changed in Russia after the Cold War. Apparently, alcohol abuse is not one of them. [...]

Is This Guy A Fan Of Halloween?

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

Well, that Depends. Maryland State Police said a drunken 47-year-old Florida man wearing a diaper was arrested for shouting profanities while trick-or-treating. Police said Joseph David DiVanna of Sarasota, Fla., was arrested about 9:15 p.m. Sunday and charged with disorderly conduct. Police said witnesses reported DiVanna cursed at adults and children in the Fox Chapel [...]

Drunks Knock On Police Station Door

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

There is no question that a night on the town with some friends is usually a good time. In certain cases, it is an even better time when a few adult beverages are involved. While drunken shenanigans are funny as hell to the inebriated, they are much less funny to those of us who have [...]

Whiskey On The Jailhouse Rocks

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

For those of you who are not in the law enforcement profession, here is a glimpse into what we have to deal with every single day. It’s not just the crimes; it’s also the galactic stupidity: Rachael Anne Myers is accused of viciously attacking police officers and nurses early Monday morning, and is facing 4 [...]

Man Channels His Inner Barney Gumble

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

In sixteen years as a police officer/detective, I think that while I haven’t seen it all, I have seen most of it. Shootings, beatings, stabbing women because they don’t cross the street fast enough – if it’s insane, I have seen it. I stand corrected: A 54-year-old Washington state man has been arrested after police [...]

Feds To Brit Teen: You’re Banned!

Monday, September 13th, 2010

A British teen is in trouble with the Obama administration after calling him a “prick” in a drunken e-mail. How much trouble would a person possibly get into for this, you ask? How about banishment? The Feds have told the teen that is banned from America for life. Seriously. Banned from America for life: For [...]

Ladies And Gentlemen, The Inflatable Pub

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

Just in time for the World Cup Final! The traditional English pub has truly earned its name as the nation’s local — with the launch of this inflatable boozer you can blow up in your garden. There are four different watering holes available in different sizes holding between five and 50 punters. The larger ‘Hogshead’ [...]

He Must Play For The “All Drunks”

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Meet Paul Nigel Sneddon; a New Zealand man who takes his beer very seriously. In a country that worships rugby and kneels before soccer, Nigel attends the Basilica of Beer. In fact, he apparently values his beer more than his car, his driver’s license, and his own safety. After reading this story, it is safe [...]

Toddler Drinks Beer At Phillies Game

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

People ask me all the time, “Wyatt, why don’t you root, root, root for the home team? You love the Denver Broncos, the Pittsburgh Penguins, and the New York Yankees, yet you hate the Sixers, despise the Eagles, and don’t like the Phillies. What’s the deal? The answer is simple: It’s because I don’t want [...]

Lindsay Lohan Just Doesn’t Learn

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Will someone please set up her forced sterilization so we don’t have to deal with a stupid, drunken family! LOS ANGELES — A judge on Tuesday doubled Lindsay Lohan’s bail to $200,000 after finding the actress violated the terms of her release with an adverse report by an ankle alcohol bracelet. Los Angeles Superior Court [...]

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