…To West Virginia! As Wyatt knows I visited the grand state of West Virgina this past weekend. I did not go to judge a beard contest or Ms. Miner, or partake in the state’s excellent tradition of…blank… I went to see the Texas Longhorns trash the West Virginia Mountaineers! Wearing Texas orange all weekend, I did not see the cold greeting I expected. Most people were very cool to me. But where to really begin the story…
I always get excited when I see a warning on a movie, video game, or TV show. The “graphic content” warning before The Walking Dead is my favorite. A warning usually means goodness is afoot, so when I saw this beer had one, I popped my top.
Think that 10% double IPA is strong? Snake Venom, from Scottish brewery, Brewmeister, clocks in at a stomach-burning 67% ABV (Alcohol By Volume). Snatching the title for the world’s strongest beer, the brew is made with smoked peat malt (how Scottish of them) and both Champagne yeast and ale yeast. Now, whether it is technically a beer (the freeze concentration used to up the alcohol content pushes it more in the realm of hard alcohol) is up for debate, but it does outdo the 65% beer Brewmeister made back in 2012 that had held the championship belt.
Yeah, but I’d still need to drink six of these to bang Chelsea Clinton.
Ten years from now, after President Hillary Clinton leaves office, America will probably resemble the apocalyptic wasteland portrayed in The Road Warrior. The country will most likely be without electricity, but hanks to two brilliant Florida inventors, we can still enjoy cold beer.
Trevor Abbott and Ty Parker came up with the idea for the Spin Chill while they were waiting for two warm beers to cool in ice.
The Spin Chill works by spinning the beer in a cool box full of ice so that the cold from the exterior of the can cools the liquid inside 20 times faster than if the can was simply placed in the ice box.
Its creators said the temperature of the drink can reach freezing in just two to three minutes using the device.
This invention pleases me, because as everyone knows warm beer is for barbarians… and the British.
Whatever you guys do, don’t tell Sally Anne about these things. She’s likely to go off on a week-long bender.
This is a series of frozen Pokemon cocktails mixed by Tumblr-er Meow Purr Nom. They were inspired by Eevee and the eight different Pokemon it can evolve into. Personally, I’m feeling the Umbreon and Leafeons, but if you’re buying I’ll drink anything including wine coolers and any beers you can’t finish.
Eevee: cake vodka, Kahlua, Bailey’s, chocolate eclair ice cream bar, chocolate syrup
Vaporeon: rum, Malibu, blue curacao, pineapple juice, Sprite
Jolteon: tequila, red bull, margarita mix, lemon juice, Sprite, salt on the rim
Flareon: fireball whiskey, peach schnapps, iced tea, lemonade, dash of strawberry syrup (for color)
Espeon: strawberry vodka, Hpnotiq Harmonie, Chambord, cranberry juice, Sprite
Umbreon: bourbon, coke, lemon juice, orange juice
Glaceon: rum, blue curacao, peppermint schnapps, lemonade, soda water, sugar on the rim
Leafeon: tequila, peach schnapps, lime juice, ginger ale, mint, honey and a drop of chocolate syrup for decoration
Sylveon: cake vodka, strawberry vodka, Bailey’s, strawberry shortcake ice cream bar, cream, strawberry syrup
It was only a matter of time before the nerds got their own drinks. Up next? Alcohol for angry loners.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you salted caramel vodka.
This vodka has a heavenly aroma of burnt sugar and vanilla, but isn’t sweet. This makes for some amazing cocktails, like the popcorn martini, made with caramel corn and simple syrup. Also tastes great with tangy ginger ale, or straight up.
I’ve gotta be honest; this may get me back on the vodka train. It’ll be the first time since “the incident;” but we don’t talk about that.
During my college years, I had a love affair with alcohol. Vodka, whiskey, engine degreaser… you name it, I drank it. Most of that was enabled by my lacrosse team, a wretched hive of drunks and villainy. That said, I never – at least to my knowledge – tried to have sex with a car.
A court heard how drunken Daniel Cooper, 24, stripped off while out with friends. The father of three was seen urinating in the street before walking down the High Street in Holywell, Wales, with his trousers round his ankles and his t-shirt pulled above his head, British media report.
He then shocked fellow revelers by walking into a kebab shop and simulating sex with the counter of the takeaway.
Married Cooper then dropped to the floor and began doing the same. He then left the shop and gyrated against a Land Rover Discovery that was parked nearby.
Some people take Humpday way too seriously. Oh, by the way, how ugly must his wife be if he’s trying to get his freak on with an SUV?
I’m pretty sure the guy who slammed into us last night had one of these in his front passenger seat.
This photo, captured by Redditor vamonos_pest, reveals that Sam’s Club is selling Jack Daniels by the barrel. For about $10,000, they send you an empty barrel and a bunch of bottles of Jack. Ten thousand dollars? Good Lord that’s a chunk of change. In the comment thread, someone’s pointed out that Costco has it for cheaper. But you know what else Costco has? Stingy sample ladies! Yeah, that’s right, Rita, I’m talking about you. She wouldn’t give me a second sample so I put a disguise on. Even then she said she knew it was me. Well excuuuse me for wanting to double check the flavor before I commit to buying SIXTEEN POUNDS OF LASAGNA.
I actually know a few people who would consider buying this. Yeah, their livers have shrunken to the shape of a fava bean.
A company named Puff’s Preserves has created alcohol-infused jam. It’s just the thing for college students, depressive police officers, and U.S. senators.
Most days it’s not really appropriate to start out with a Bloody Mary or Irish Coffee — so when you have a taste for the hard stuff, smear on some Puff’s Preserves Boozy Jam. While all the alcohol cooks off during the preparation process, the flavors of beer, whiskey, champagne, bourbon and wine remain. Seasonal recipes include apple beer chamomile, rhubarb vodka hibiscus, raspberry whiskey chipotle, and blackberry bourbon lavender. Each small batch is made with fresh, local, and in-season ingredients, as well as Colorado distilled or brewed booze.
Of course, the intrepid drunk will eventually realize the alcohol is burned off before packaging, and decide to freebase his own jam at home… using grain alcohol.
Now face north… or wherever Bulgaria happens to be at the time.
This is the Amstel Pause; a vending machine which awards free beer to anyone who can stand still for three minutes.
It can be hard to take time away from your work especially in the middle of a deadline, but nothing relieves stress or ignites new ideas better than a short break. To persuade people to steal away, Amstel Bulgaria and creative agency Next-DC created ‘Amstel Pause’, a vending machine rewarding people with free beer for doing nothing. Unlike other brand street executions that ask passersby to trade Facebook likes, draw or even yawn, Amstel encouraged thirsty participants to take a three minute break to clear their minds.
An average of 84 people took part each day with a total of 1,344 beers dispensed, resulting in 4,032 minutes (more than 67 hours) of rest.
As my lieutenant will proudly confirm, I stand around doing nothing seven days a week!
For those who do not know, I bounce at a place in West Chester on Saturday nite in West Chester. One roommate is the bar manager, the other is the DJ. We hold the place down pretty damn well. Last nite however is a different story.
After a wonderful nite of tossing drunkards, throw uppers, and two girls fighting over shoes (I shit you not), it was finally 2AM and we cleared the place of invalids pretty fast. The only guy who really was a problem getting out was a mongrel in a black 10 gallon hat. Once we explained we can’t go home until he goes home, he got with the program finished his beer and left. Myself and the other bouncers, one is quite possibly the dumbest guy I have ever met and the other an MMA amateur champion, have the distinctive duty of taking out the trash. As we are emptying the last can we here “pop pop pop pop pop” right near us. We all looked at each other, dum-dum muttered, “I don’t think that was fireworks…