You’re Only As Young As Who You Feel
By Wyatt Earp | November 8, 2010
And in this case, granny over there has been “feeling young” for the past two years. That’s because she’s had sex with 200 men in that span. 200 men in two years. She makes Paris Hilton look like a piker.
Someone should be writing songs about this woman. Preferably something along the lines of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Gangbang.”
Sex-mad grandmother Carol Bone claims she has slept with more than 200 men after joining 13 dating websites. Miss Bone, 62, has had two years of one-night stands even though she suffers from arthritis and back pain. Her favourite men are those aged in their 30s or 40s, and she also likes sex parties and meeting couples.
“I just enjoy sex. I am not looking for anything serious. I am done with relationships – I want fun,” said Mrs Bone, who has seven grandchildren. “Men who are over 50 don’t have the stamina to keep up with me. And I don’t like beer bellies.” (H/T – Mrs. Crankipants)
Carol Bone. The most appropriate surname ever.
Topics: Snarkasm | 27 Comments »
November 8th, 2010 at 7:11 am
It also implies 199 haven’t called her back.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Granny isn’t interested in a second date, she only wants a one time ride. I salute the spirit. When she pops out her faux teeth, it’s party time!!!
November 8th, 2010 at 9:55 am
I find it funny that she complains about her contemporaries lacking stamina. When you look like the naked old hag in room 217 from The Shining, my guess is it’s hard to work up any sort of stamina. Where is she finding these guys – prison? Probably after lights out.
November 8th, 2010 at 9:57 am
In her defense, I’d do her before I would do the much younger Patty Bigbee. Still with the lights out.
November 8th, 2010 at 10:00 am
I looked at this and thought this was another picture of the lady from the “Baby For Sale: Cheap!” post.
My bad.
So, lets crunch some numbers on this; 200 men, 24 months, comes to 8.3333 men a month, we will round that up to 9 men a month to make it simple.
By my calculations, she will be 245 years old when she approaches Wilt Chamberlain’s numbers of more sexual partners she bedded down. That would be somewhere around the year of 2193.
Keep pumping Grandma. Also, keep in mind that Wilt the Stilt died when he was 63 years old.
November 8th, 2010 at 10:11 am
“Sex-mad grandmother Carol Bone claims she has slept with more than 200 men after joining 13 dating websites.”
That’s a lot of beer goggles…
November 8th, 2010 at 10:33 am
Grany is a fraud. The sex she is giving was not declared sex by William Jefferson Clinton
November 8th, 2010 at 10:38 am
Good god…she’d have to pick old, crusty scabs just to get a ‘natural lubricant’
November 8th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Is that 200 men or two 100 yr. old men?
November 8th, 2010 at 11:27 am
Carol Bone? As in Bad to the Carol?
November 8th, 2010 at 11:30 am
Bone. If that’s her married name, then her husband gave it to her.
If that’s her maiden name, then every day she went to class and the teacher read “Bone, Carol” from the attendence list.
She never had a chance!
November 8th, 2010 at 11:59 am
Ewwww…no really…ewwwww.
November 8th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Food for Tiger.
November 8th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Don’t be so judgmental! Everyone has their own little kinks. Obviously, there are men out there who have a granny fetish, maybe the combination of Butterscotch Lifesavers, Icy Hot, and Poly-Grip fills them with lustful thoughts. She’s my hero!
November 8th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Bwahahahahaaaaaa!
That will be my only comment.
November 8th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I haven’t hit 40 yet, I’m married, and I have sex less often than she does. Then again, she probably doesn’t have to deal with “Mommy, I’m thirsty” followed by pitter-patter of little feet heading her way to sleep in bed with her just as soon as she’s ready to get it on.
November 8th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
November 8th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Jon – And retched afterward.
Mrs. Crankipants – That way, she won’t ever bite.
Crankipants – The defining term in these comments is “lights out.”
Ferrell – I think Wilt counted the number of times he bumped against a woman in the subway, though.
BobG – And a lot of desperate men.
Crusty – I wonder if she has access to interns?
Dr. Evil – Once again, you cross the lines of good taste. Kudos!
Proof – What’s worse is that her sister’s name is Katya.
DL474 – Scary, ain’t it? She belongs in your backyard on Halloween.
Eric T – Tiger Woods? He hasn’t sunk that low . . . yet.
Mrs. Crankipants – Everyone loves ribbon candy!
RT – Pretty much sums it up.
Kim – She also doesn’t have to worry about the whole, “Get made up before sex” thing.
November 8th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
I think of her grandkids reading this.
They’ll be telling their therapists about it for decades to come.
I also think of her last 10 or so guys reading it. They’ll realize they had sloppy 200ths.
Of granny.
Ugh.
I do wonder if she made Tweety watch.
November 8th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Veeshir – Oh, you had to soil my fond memories of Looney Tunes, didn’t you?
November 8th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
Raquel Welch she ain’t.
November 9th, 2010 at 1:55 am
Bob – She’s not even a Liz Taylor!
November 9th, 2010 at 2:05 am
Wyatt: Maybe an Aunt Bea Taylor??
November 9th, 2010 at 8:53 am
Proof: Aunt Bea had class. Lose the C and the L and you’ve got this dingbat down.
November 9th, 2010 at 10:48 am
Sorry, bob! Bea was the only Taylor I could think of frumpier than Liz!
November 9th, 2010 at 11:25 am
Proof – Nicely done!
Bob – Good point. No pie baking for this toad.
November 12th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
I date women over 60 sometimes who are a lot better looking and younger looking than her. That woman looks like she;s pushing 80. I would never sleep with her.