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Courteney Cox, David Arquette Separate

By Wyatt Earp | October 12, 2010

Wow, I never saw this coming!

Okay, I did see this coming the second these two started dating. So did each and every one of you. Cox is a fairly talented actress who has had a pretty successful career. I never liked her on Friends, but whatever. Arquette’s biggest claim to fame is that he’s the brother of the talented – and always buck naked – Rosanna Arquette. Other than that, I have had a better acting career than he has. How they got together is beyond me.

Why they stayed together for so long .

Courteney Cox and David Arquette announced Monday they have been separated for some time but said they remain committed parents and “best friends.” The actors released a joint statement announcing what they are calling a trial separation.

“The reason for this separation is to better understand ourselves and the qualities we need in a partner and for our marriage,” the statement said.

The only thing Courteney needs to understand is that she is pretty damned hot and David is pretty damned ugly. And ugly people are like animals. They should not be allowed to mingle with beautiful people. Just sayin’.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 31 Comments »

31 Responses to “Courteney Cox, David Arquette Separate”

  1. Robbie Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 9:10 am

    I blame Cougartown :)

  2. Dannytheman Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 9:14 am

    She has more money than God and she is incredibly beautiful!! I’d would like to be on her recovery sex list.
    She can use and abuse me, and I won’t charge her a dime!

  3. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 9:28 am

    I read that he had an allergic reaction to all the collagen and botox stuffed in her miserable mug, which is why he chewed off his leg and made a run for it.

  4. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Maybe David Arquette became a Tea-Partier and started to understand that the Obama Administration is really run by a couple of drunken college frat boys.

  5. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Now they are free to do what they do best.

    Waiting on tables at Denny’s.

  6. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 10:32 am

    Yep, it’s the death race to obscurity.

  7. richard mcenroe Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Lucky for me I know beautiful people that think differently…

  8. John D Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 11:28 am

    “…I have had a better acting career than he has.”

    Eight Legged Freaks notwithstanding.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Robbie – She is believing her own storylines.

    Danny – Wow, that’s a generous offer!

    Mrs. Crankipants – Saucer of milk, aisle three!

    Ferrell – Would you like your coffee refilled, sir?

    Mrs. Crankipants – Taking the David Schwimmer route.

    Richard – Speaking as an ugly person, my assessment is usually spot-on. Heh.

    John D – Oh. Good. Lord.

  10. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    I wonder what she named the stick up her ass.
    Don’t defend her, she was in a Bruce Springsteen video.

  11. proof Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    I’ve got the Tom Selleck ‘stache! Wonder if “Monica” still goes for older men?

  12. Robbie Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants: I’m getting the impression you don’t care for Mrs. Arquette ! Te He!

  13. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    Robbie,
    The woman is an insufferable bitch, and he’s a stoner who dresses like a colorblind imbecile. I hate them both.

  14. RT Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    I’m loving this.

  15. Robbie Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants: You have no idea the amount of money I would pay to hear you say that to the both of them !!!

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – And as everyone knows, I despise Bruce Springsteen.

    Proof – Only one way to find out.

    Robbie – What gave it away?

    Mrs. Crankipants – Jeez, don’t sugar coat it. Tell us what you really think.

    RT – David probably doesn’t.

  17. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    Robbie,
    I waited on her once, she chain smoked and held her cigarette like she was Cruella Deville. Fitting, really.

  18. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Wyatt-
    Okay, I’ll take it down a notch.

  19. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – Nooo! Don’t tone down anything for me. Didn’t realize you waited on here.

    In case you folks didn’t know, Mrs. C. waited tables in downtown Philadelphia. She can pretty much tell you which celebrities and politicians are decent. and which are scumbags.

  20. bob (either orr) Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Mrs. C., that’s a disgusting image. Helps me reduce my opinion of her to new depths.

  21. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Bob – Yeah, takes away from the airbushed photos a bit.

  22. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    Well Bob, then I’m doing my job.

    I slung hash in hoity-toity places, in the land of linen tablecloths, finger bowls, and twenty dollar armagnacs. I think Wyatt was trying to explain away my hostility and my basic hatred of people.

  23. JT Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    Wyatt – if I may ask…..why do you hate Springsteen ?

  24. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 7:32 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – I love hearing your stories about scumbags like Ed Rendell and Michael Smerconish. Always put a smile on my face.

    JT – Where should I begin? He is treated like a god in these parts, even though he has a terribly raspy voice, little talent, and less songwriting skills. He is a rabid libtard that likes to pontificate instead of sing. He thinks he’s God’s gift, even though he hasn’t had a true hit album in three decades. He couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the silly people who are his “fans.”

    Give me a few minutes. I’ll think of some more reasons.

  25. JT Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Wyatt- thanks for your reply.

    I must admit- I never understood his popularity, but I have heard from a couple of people that he’s a regular guy in person.

    I’m just tellin’ ya, so don’t shoot the messenger, ok ?

  26. JT Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    Mrs. C – if I may ask another question…..

    What the heck is an armagnac ?

  27. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    JT – Not at all. I understand people like him, and the great thing about music is that every taste is different. When he destroyed Vietnam vets with Born in the USA, that sealed his fate in my eyes.

  28. JT Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    I wasn’t aware of that . (Duh.)

    I’ll have to check that out.

    Thanks.

  29. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    JT-
    Armagnac is like cognac, it’s made from white grapes. But unlike cognac, it’s only distilled once- cognac is distilled twice. Don’t sniff it like you would wine, your nasal hairs will singe. Good stuff.

  30. Glenn Mark Cassel AMH1(AW) USN Ret. Says:
    October 12th, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    And that Aguilera Girl is going to be on the loose also. And I never quite figured out what Courtney saw in that waste of genetic material.

  31. JT Says:
    October 13th, 2010 at 8:58 am

    your nasal hairs will singe.

    Hmmmmm……..sounds better than sticking the scissors up there.

    Thanks !