Woman Blames Crash On Vampire
By Wyatt Earp | June 30, 2010
Talk about an alibi that really sucks.
FRUITA, Colo. – If a Western Slope woman is to be believed, vampires may be lurking in Colorado’s Grand Valley.
The woman claims she spotted a vampire in the middle of a dirt road near Fruita, Colo. Sunday night. She told Colorado State Troopers she was startled by the undead being, threw her SUV into reverse, and crashed into a canal. She was not injured.
The story states that the woman’s husband arrived and took her home. She must be really hot for a guy to put up with that kind of stupidity. I’m just sayin’.
Topics: WTF? | 18 Comments »
June 30th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Okay I’ll fess up, that was me in the road. Since I’m couped up all day in my coffin I fly around at night alot, I really wasn’t after her blood up there in the woods, I was looking for some deer blood so I could make my homemade Jaigermeister. She did seem pretty damn drunk though.
June 30th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
“She told Colorado State Troopers she was startled by the undead being. . . “
Happens to me all the time. Except in NY, we don’t call them vampires. We call them welfare recipients.
June 30th, 2010 at 3:45 pm
She was off her meds.
June 30th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Someone needs to take her Twilight Books off of her pronto !
June 30th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
The only real vampires are in the Obama Administration and their policies are fast sucking our country dry.
Those are the vampires that need to be run down with your SUV.
Silly Girl.
June 30th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Sorry forgot to post an example from previous post. From Hot Air:
http://hotair.com/archives/2010/06/30/great-news-debt-as-percentage-of-gdp-rises-to-post-wwii-high
June 30th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Jon – The article said police don’t think alcohol was a factor. Apparently, insanity is.
John D – In Philly, we call them Eagles fans.
Danny – Ya think?
Robbie – And send her a nice slice of garlic bread.
Ferrell – Following the FDR example again.
June 30th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
The phrase “batshit crazy” comes to mind…
June 30th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
BobG – Correction: (Vampire) batshit crazy.
June 30th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Eh, it was just a Fruita bat.
June 30th, 2010 at 6:53 pm
I’ll bet it was an undocumented demokrat that scared her!
June 30th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
RT – Well played, ma’am!
Watuschskie – Yeah, those illegals are just filling up the DNC voter registers.
July 1st, 2010 at 1:04 am
Wait, that wasn’t Minnesota’s own Amy Klobuchar on a roadtrip through CO, was it?
July 1st, 2010 at 9:13 am
Eh, she was probably high on meth. It is fruita Co afterall.
July 1st, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Definitely “stuck on stupid”…!
July 1st, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Smite – What a toad she is.
Joe – It keeps you thin, at least.
Bob G. – With no chance of passing Go or collecting $200.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:33 pm
Translation:
She was texting while driving and didn’t see the black bear until he was just about on the hood of the car, threw it into reverse, and the rest is history.
OR she could have mistaken a used car salesman for the vampire, they’re almost identical.
July 2nd, 2010 at 2:53 am
Am I the only person to giggle at this happening in “Fruita”?