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It’s A Girl!!!

By Wyatt Earp | December 3, 2008

Julia Elizabeth Earp came into the world today at 12:49am. She weighed in at 6 pounds, 14 ounces.

Oh, I guess I should elaborate a little, huh?

Well apparently, the wife’s spooky, voodoo mommy spider sense was spot on. Last night she complained of pain, but also said that she thought the baby dropped. How she knew that is beyond me, but what do I know? She went up to bed at 10pm, and I said, “Okay, I’m gonna watch the Sharks/Maple Leafs game, since you’re water will break around 2am.”

The water didn’t break, though. The wife just went straight to contractions. Big ones. After calling the doc, we jumped into the Wyattmobile and raced to the hospital. (On the way, I was serenaded with “Drive fast . . . but watch the bumps!”) After checking in, a nurse took us to the maternity floor.

Sidebar: The knucklehead nurse took no less than five swipes with her security card to open the outer door. Every time she swiped without success, she looked at it like a Frenchman looks at soap. After the fourth try, the missus looked at me with a “Please shoot her” glare. Luckily, self-control won out.

The OB/GYN was paged and the staff hooked her up to the monitors in between blood-curdling screams. She kept telling them that the baby was coming RIGHT NOW! but they weren’t listening. I wanted to turn and say, “Ya know, my wife really knows what she’s talking about. This is our 37th child,” but again, self-control won out. A resident doc came in, checked the wife, turned to the triage nurse and said, “She’s 8cm dilated. Get her to a room right now!” Told ya she knows what she’s talking about.

(This next part is absolutely true. I write this disclaimer because it seems unbelievable.)

Two nurses grabbed the wife’s bed and literally hauled ass down the corridor to the delivery room. At one point, they were going so fast that they nicked a wall. I wanted to shout, “Slow down!,” but the entire scene was just too damned funny – and I needed a good story for the blog. When they finally got to the delivery room, she was 9cm dilated.

Sidebar #2: Ya know those stories our parents told us about suffering through 48 hours of labor? Well, we won’t have those stories for Julia. From start to finish, the entire delivery lasted 35 minutes. Seriously. The problem with that was since Julia is going to be a NASCAR driver, her speed meant that the wife could not receive her beloved epidural. It was old time hockey, and she was going without painkillers.

So, after 35 minutes of excruciating pain, banshee-like screams, and some ogling of nurses – oh, that was from me – our first (and last) daughter was born. Her weight was good, but since she was 35 weeks, the docs decided to take her to the NICU for a precaution. Since then, we have learned that she is breathing well and eating regularly. Hopefully, she’ll be home by the weekend.

All in all, a pretty damned good day.

Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to pass out. I am running on four hours sleep (total) for the last two days.

Topics: The Girl | 55 Comments »

55 Responses to “It’s A Girl!!!”

  1. Sebastian Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    Did they at least bring in the machine that goes “PING!”?

    Congratulations, BTW

  2. Snowflakes in Hell » Blog Archive » Lots of Babies Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    [...] is once more a father, and Clayton Cramer is now a grandfather.  Congrats to [...]

  3. cbullitt Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    Congrats Wyatt. I accidentally posted first under the Rachel Hunter photo–how could I possibly have been so distrcted?

  4. kaveman Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Having a daughter in this world raised by someone with your sense of humor???

    Isn’t that one of the 7 signs of the apocalypse?

  5. John D Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Congrats, Wyatt. Now go and get some sleep. While you still can. Heh.

  6. BobG Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    Congratulations to you and your family.

  7. Sully Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Congratulations, and extra points for insulting the French in the same post.

  8. Sean Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    I know that you are a bit busy right now – but congratulations to you all sir!

  9. Jeffro Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Congrats to y’all!

  10. Alan B Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Congratulations to Mrs Earp!

    To you, as well, of course, but I could never understand why the father gets the cigar and all the congratulations. Sounds like she got on with it herself!

    4 hours sleep in 2 days – you’re getting into practice then!!

    Seriously, all the best to you all.

  11. mare Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    Well done, by the whole Earp team!

  12. CaptainAmerica Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Congratulations buddy. Saw mom-mom and pop-pop at the casa and figured something was up.
    Get some sleep!

  13. momster Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Congratulations , what a wonderful early Christmas present. Julia Elizabeth is a beautiful name.

  14. Ford_Prefect Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:38 pm


  15. wagonsux Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm


  16. Dazd Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Congrats on da baby!

  17. Ky Person Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    I love the name, it’s pretty and dignified and won’t be dated by the time she’s 10. Congratuations to you all!

  18. Doctor Bulldog Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 3:59 pm


  19. aj lynch Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    Way to go Wyatt and The Sainted Wife.

    I like the name too. My niece just named her new baby Danielle Elizabeth already being called Dani.

    Best of luck to youse Earps! Or is that now the Urps?

  20. rightwingprof Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm


    Wait. Didn’t you get snipped?


  21. TrekMedic251 Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Congrats! Pass the cigars!

  22. Doghouse Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    Awesome sir! Congratulations to you both! Now give your wife our best wishes (now that it’s over and she won’t strangle you if you get in reach).

  23. GroovyVic Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    Yay!!! Congratulations!!!

    Smell that baby’s head! Give her a big kiss from me!

  24. Sean_Galt Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    Congrats to you & the Mrs!
    Our first is due in June, and I can’t wait.

  25. TexasFred Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Congratulations… Enjoy her now… She will grow up and break your heart later…

  26. ArkieRN Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    Lovely name! Congratulations to your family. Try not to let the boys run wild ’til the Mrs and baby get home.

  27. B.C. Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    Congratulations to you both! Here’s to a long, healthy and happy life to the little princess!

    Wait a minute… Wyatt, didn’t you have “The Big V™” about TEN months ago?

  28. Kim Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Congratulations! Epidural free childbirth? Shoulda just stayed home and delivered there. He-he.

    A girl raised by Wyatt. And three older brothers. Does she realize yet that there will be no males left on the planet by the time she is three years old?

  29. Cowboy Blob Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    Congrats to the Missus!

    Looking forward to smoking a cigar and sharing a bottle with you should we ever meet.

  30. Trixie Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm

    Congrats, Wyatt. Sounds very similar to the birth of my daughter–right down to the incompetent nurse.

    Glad you all survived. And so happy for the addition to your family.

    Say it with me now: All hail the princess.

  31. Shannon Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Congratulations!!! I hope we get to see some pictures of your sweet little girl! I know she’s a beauty!

    Hope you and your wife are able to get some rest…Bet she’s a bit tired too :) .

  32. Diller Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    Congratulations!….You will love havin a Daughter around.

  33. Easily Lost Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Congrats to you both :D wowza when the mrs. says it time she means like 10 minutes ago huh? Glad everything went well (and fast) can’t wait too see the first baby pics.
    (wonder if I get to be the honorary Aunty Lost :D )
    By the way, with the new baby girl in the house, the women now outnumber the males.(don’t bother doing the math, just trust me on this one)

  34. Whatever I want Wednesday…BABY EDITION! « RT’s Ponderings Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    [...] allrtee For today’s “whatever I want,” I’m going to dedicate a song to the newest little Earp!  Congratulations, Wyatt and Mrs. [...]

  35. RT Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    I’ve been smiling all day! I’m so happy for you all. :)


  36. BadIdeaGuy Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    Congrats to the wyatt family! I hope she remains healthy and is out of NICU soon. The BadIdeaGuy family will be praying for you and yours that all continue to go well!

  37. shooter Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Congrats, Sir! Family is a wonderful thing. I never knew it until mine was born, but daughter’s are a fantastic thing for dads.

  38. Target Rich Environment » Blog Archive » Blog Notes: Autopilot 12-3-08 Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    [...] not all that curious though) but is the proud father to another child, this one daughter Julia. (link) If you’re the praying type, please keep Julia and Wyatt’s family in your prayers as [...]

  39. Ryan Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    Ah…a bouncing baby girl who will no doubt grow up into a sweet teenager whose boyfriends you will get to threaten with painful and lingering death should they disrespect her.

    Congratulations dude!

  40. Snigs Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    Congratulations Earp Family!

  41. JumpOut Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:31 pm


  42. JumpOut Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    Seriously, we’ll be praying for you. Congrats.

  43. Ambulance Driver Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Dancing rodents!

  44. Woody Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:49 pm



  45. Sssteve Says:
    December 3rd, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    Congrats bro!! Tell the missus that we are proud of you all!! Well done!!

  46. Rick Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 12:50 am


  47. dragonlady474 Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 2:03 am

    Woohoo! Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Earp!! :)

  48. Old NFO Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 5:22 am

    Congrats to you and the Missus! Glad everything worked out and the baby is healthy!!!!!

  49. Skye Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 8:01 am

    Congratulations to you and Mrs Earp!

    Welcome to the world, Julia Elizabeth Earp!

  50. USA_Admiral Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 10:54 am


    A job well done by you both.

  51. Ride Fast Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    [...] All these girls are babes [...]

  52. Maggie Mama Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Congrats! Get a closet with a lock ASAP…as you watch her grow, you’ll want to keep her real, real safe.

    My husband had a hard time watching our daughter go out the door for her first formal.

    He had no idea how much thirteen now looks like twenty-five year olds! I thought he was going to have a stroke when he saw her all dressed up. Good luck and much happiness to all. Be glad God gave to three sons to help watch over the little Princess. Older brothers are a great asset to parents.

  53. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Thank you all so very, very much. No way I can respond to every comment, but I’ll answer some of the burning questions:

    Sebastian – No “Pinger.” Probably should have been one. I like to hear the sound of an M1 Garand when a child is born.

    Kaveman – If we’re lucky, she won’t be half as snarky as me.

    Alan B – I didn’t do a thing. She did all of the – pain med free – work.

    Sean Galt – Congratulations. Get ready. You have no idea . . .

    Prof, B.C. – I got snipped after the wife was pregnant. We definitely wanted to stop at four. Both post-v tests came back negative, and after the third one I will be completely safe. I hope.

    JumpOut – Congratulations to you, too!!!

    As far as the “lock her up” comments. We’re WAY ahead of you!!! She’s not allowed to date until 50 years after my death. End of story. :)

  54. Jim Says:
    December 4th, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    All the very best to you and your entire family. What do the big brothers think?

  55. The Extreme Home Makeover Begins | Support Your Local Gunfighter Says:
    July 20th, 2009 at 7:01 am

    [...] Ranch. The construction guys are coming, and they are loaded for bear. A few months ago – like December 3, to be exact – we decided we didn’t have enough room for all of our brood. So, we hired a contractor [...]