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Good Advice For Moviegoers

By Wyatt Earp | December 28, 2008

<i>James Cialella - Movie Aficionado</i>

James Cialella - Movie Aficionado

When you are sitting in a Philadelphia area movie theater, SHUT THE HELL UP! You know, because some local boob could walk right up and shoot you in the arm.

You’ve been warned.

A man angry that a family was talking during a movie threw popcorn at the son and then shot the father in the arm, according to police in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

James Joseph Cialella, 29, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations, a police report said.

Cialella told the family sitting in front of him in the theater on Christmas Day to be quiet, police said.

An argument ensued while others at the Riverview Movie Theatre watched “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” starring Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported.

Cialella then approached the family from the left side of the aisle and shot the father, who was not identified, as he was standing between Cialella and his family, according to the police report. (H/T - CNN)

First of all, shooting a person who is talking during a movie is pretty much justified, isn’t it? Maybe I’m wrong, but I think that law is in the Pennsylvania Crimes Code:

18 Pa. C.S. 9999 - It is lawful to shoot a person in the extremities if said person is babbling on during the feature film. It is not lawful to shoot a person in the extremities if the person is yapping during the coming attractions.

Second of all, anyone who pays good money to see that God-awful “Benjamin Button” film deserves some hot lead. Have you seen the trailers for this tripe? Creepy and idiotic - even for Brad Pitt.

And finally, isn’t it time that someone revokes the title of “City of Brotherly Love” from my town? We throw snowballs and batteries at people during sporting events, we average well over 300 homicides every year, and we shoot our neighbors if they talk during a movie.

It’s high time we demolish this burg and start over.

Topics: Movies, The Job |

10 Responses to “Good Advice For Moviegoers”

  1. RT Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 12:58 am

    Am I the only one that finds it humorous that someone from South Philly went to see a a Brad Pitt/Cate Blanchette movie…on purpose?

    “Not for nuttin’ dude, but you want that I shoot you if you don’ts shuts your kid’s twap?” (That’s how I envision it.)

    One less dude/wench for the Mummers’ Parade.

  2. Rick Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 1:34 am

    I know the feeling. I have wanted to shhot a few talkers myself.

  3. Alan B Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 7:10 am

    I have been to Philadelphia only once and I felt remarkably safe because there were so many armed cops - all in pairs - all looking like they could look after themselves (and, hopefully, me).

    I especially enjoyed the museum with dioramas about how the wonderful, brave, honest, loyal, god-fearing Americans with right on their side overthrew the nasty, snivelling, dishonest, blasphemous, traitorous, cowardly British. And how you overthrew that horrible King George (which George was it again, Marshall?) and set up heaven on earth for all the world’s down-trodden masses to settle in and find peace and success and …

    Or at least, that’s how it came over to me.

    I then asked myself, why did this land of the free need so many armed cops, all in pairs, on its streets?

    Don’t worry, I do still love your country and the large majority of its people. Like all countries, America has its inconsistencies. But apart from England there are few
    countries where I would be willing to live - USA is one of the few (along with New Zealand).

  4. Alan B Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 7:13 am

    I see “Jim” is online

    Hi Jim

    Hey, I’m the new boy here. .

    Pardon my ignorance, who are you Jim?

  5. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 10:06 am

    Non-stop talking during a movie, as well as wailing babies and an idiot listening to a baseball game on a transistor radio, are the reasons Mr. Crankipants and I no longer go to the movies. The ushers stroll the aisles and do absolutely nothing to quiet these loudmouths.

    And while it’s never nice to throw food, on behalf of all Philadelphians who have had their overpriced movie ruined by people who have no sense of decorum- I take my hat off to you, Mr. Cialella.

  6. ArkieRN Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am

    If it’s not legal to shoot these jerks, it should be. I no longer go to the movies because it’s too much to pay to have some jack ruin it by talking.

    Maybe if a few more dunces get shot, I can return to the theaters.

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    RT - Agreed. He probably thought “Rocky” was a true story, too.

    Rick - I usually just dump something into their lap . . . like scorpions.

    Alan - Jim is from bRight & Early. he set up this blog in its entirety - at least all of the tech aspects of it.

    Mrs. Crankipants - Why someone would take an infant to the movies is beyond me, but I see it all the time. Idiocy.

    ArkieRN - It’s a message to others, so - in a way - this guy may have helped us all. That’ll be short comfort in prison, but . . .

  8. Alan B Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Thank you, Marshall. Got it!
    Jim - definitely one of the good guys!!

  9. RT Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Rocky wasn’t a true story? Dangit!

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 29th, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Alan - No problemo.

    RT - Um, no, but some say it was based on a true story involving Muhammad Ali.