Recent Posts

Recent Comments


Cop Land

« | Main | Think Pink »

Eel’s Well That Ends Well

By Wyatt Earp | September 13, 2011

Guys, this is BY FAR the worst story you will ever read. And second place is not even close? The Lorena Bobbitt story isn’t even in the same zip code as this one, so if you don’t want to spend the rest of your day cringing, look away.

And we begin . . .

56-year old Zhang Nan wanted to look younger. So, the Chinese man decided to undergo an eel treatment at a local spa. There, customers strip down, and enter a bathtub full of the slippery bastards.

He was just sitting there, minding his own business . . . when it happened.

The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures. Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.

But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realized a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.

Apparently, the eels have a “members only” policy.

‘I climbed into the bath and I could feel the eels nibbling my body. But then suddenly I felt a severe pain and realized a small eel had gone into the end of my penis,’ the 56-year-old from Honghu, Hubei province said. ‘I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis.’

Rushing himself to hospital, the man underwent a three-hour operation to remove the six-inch eel which was dead by the time doctors found it. Surgeon Jin Wang said that, because of the eel’s slippery nature, it was able to make a smooth entry into the genitals of Nan. (H/TC/A)

Come on! Jin Wang? They made that up! Who was the anesthetist, Harry Johnson?

Topics: WTF? | 14 Comments »

14 Responses to “Eel’s Well That Ends Well”

  1. Old NFO Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    Ouch… in MANY ways… :-(

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    Old NFO – I still have my legs crossed!

  3. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    Slip sliding away……..sip sliding away……

  4. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    Slip not sip….that’ll teach me not to listen to my wife when I type………..

  5. RT Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Anesthetist? Long Duk Dong.

  6. C/A Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    Took balls to post that story…nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…

  7. Watuschski Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Stupid nitwit deserved what he got!

  8. Ranba Ral Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 12:06 am

    There’s a parasitic micro-catfish in the Amazon that’s known for this too.

    Along with other junk-destroying parasites.

    S. America isn’t very high on my list of places to visit…..

  9. Eric T Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 2:48 am

    So, does he look 10 years younger??? The story never said.

  10. GroovyVic Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 6:57 am

    Bet it was a short trip….

  11. Jon Brooks Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 9:16 am

    LOL GroovyVic

    Thank God it wasn’t one of the electric variety.

    As a kid I used to go fishing with my dad in lake Champlain during family reunions up in Vermont. I didn’t listen when my dad said…”Don’t touch it cut the line!”, when I pulled one up curled around my leader.

    Now imagine a penile embedded taser going off any time it wants to.

  12. Metoo Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 9:22 am

    Sounds like another shallow gene pool.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 14th, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    LDIV – “Sip” would mean something completely different here.

    RT – Nice 80′s reference!

    Captain – This guy definitely got shafted.

    Watuschski – What he got was a special delivery, courtesy of You Pee Ssssssss!

    Ranba – They were featured in a story from 1,000 Ways To Die on SpikeTV. Great program, btw.

    Eric T – Well, parts of him do.

    GroovyVic – Well crafted.

    Jon – We would swim in Lake Champlain as kids. My Aunt Betty lived there. Didn’t know about the eels, but eww.

    MeToo – Or spa bath.

  14. Rick Says:
    September 17th, 2011 at 1:10 am

    OUCH damn eels