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Toad Really Wants Gal To Drop The Chalupa

By Wyatt Earp | August 13, 2011

And by “chalupa,” I mean her pants.

Meet 24-year old Jason Dean of Georgia. This may shock you, but this handsome son of a bitch has trouble finding women.

But fear not, Jason is an enterprising self-starter who likes to take the initiative when it comes to dating. Unfortunately, he also likes to take hostages. Tired of being rejected by a pretty Taco Bell employee, Jason broke out the shackles.

He then apparently choked on the sweet, delicious irony.

A Georgia man who has been pestering a female coworker at Taco Bell for a date handcuffed himself to the woman in a bizarre incident that landed him in shackles and facing a felony false imprisonment rap. Lovestruck weirdo Jason Dean, 24, allegedly handcuffed the 18-year-old woman Monday night in the parking lot of the fast food joint in Ringgold, according to a police report. The teenager was freed after other Taco Bell workers convinced Dean to release her.

The victim had repeatedly rebuffed Dean’s advances over the past month and even had her work shift changed to avoid her creepy would-be suitor.

Hmm, that gives me an idea. Hey Sally Anne, can you send me your home address?

Topics: Snarkasm | 12 Comments »

12 Responses to “Toad Really Wants Gal To Drop The Chalupa”

  1. richard mcenroe Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    This freak needs to be shot now. He is only going to escalate.

    Has this girl no father or brothers?

  2. Old NFO Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    I’m with Richard, where are the male family members???

  3. Otis P. Driftwood Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Gives an all new meaning to the Beatles’ “I Want To Hold Your Hand”.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    Richard – Or no huge, hulking boyfriend?

    Old NFO – And the shotguns . . .

    Otis – By hook or by crook.

  5. Ranba Ral Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    Guys, I think most of the country’s been too wussified and me-ified to want to defend the women folk anymore…

  6. richard mcenroe Says:
    August 13th, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    Ranba Ral — Shitbird raised his hand to my sister once. Five Irish brothers. Unfortunately for him, he was a few years ahead of his time.

  7. Ranba Ral Says:
    August 14th, 2011 at 12:02 am

    oh there’s still a few of us left. In high school, we had a girl in my lockerbay who had an abusive boyfriend. It started verbal and then moved to physical. He made the mistake one day of being in the bay when he started hitting her and pulling back for a big swing…which I walked into to have justification to beat his ass from one side of the bay to the other (school rules at the time were you could just short of kill someone in self defense, but you had to take a hit first to avoid being suspended. Later they revised it to anyone fighting got suspended, with an expulsion review). But I was the only one who stood up, and we had guys in that locker bay who were like the linemen and quarterbacks for our football team.

    The ‘me-ified’, btw, was referring to the ‘generation of me’ phenomena that’s been ever growing since the 60′s.

  8. dr. evil Says:
    August 14th, 2011 at 12:26 am

    Wow. That looks like a less Guido-fied Mike “The Situation” from Jersey Shore.

  9. Sally Anne Says:
    August 14th, 2011 at 7:13 am

    Pah. I’ve got handcuff keys.

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 14th, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    Dr. Evil – Pre-grease, pre-steroids.

    Sally Anne – Dammit!

  11. Skip Says:
    August 15th, 2011 at 1:13 am

    Pfft, if that had happened to my sister, Mom would have had his ass in the ER before I or my brother could get there.
    Tough old broad, damn we miss her.

  12. Rick Says:
    August 15th, 2011 at 1:37 am

    This toad needs shot