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Sex Dolls Uber Alles

By Wyatt Earp | July 13, 2011

Speaking of Hitler, the dictator had an ingenious way of fighting STDs.

Adolf Hitler ordered the Nazis to develop sex dolls to send to his troops being ravaged by disease after sleeping with French women, it’s been revealed. The synthetic ‘comforters’ were made from silicone and designed to stop soldiers being laid low with syphilis.

Smaller than life-size, the so-called ‘gynoids’ were to be targeted at the men most at temptation from a ‘quick adventure’ with a French prostitute.

Initially, the Hungarian actress Kathe von Nagy was asked if the doll could be modeled on her, but she refused.

I’m surprised he didn’t use Eva Braun . . . or Eleanor Roosevelt.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “Sex Dolls Uber Alles”

  1. JT Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 8:01 am

    That’s just great.
    One MORE thing an infantryman has to hump.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 9:16 am

    JT – It redefines the term “hump that ruck.”

  3. Otis P. Driftwood Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 9:20 am

    Something similar – when Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin were deciding how to slice up Europe upon victory, Roosevelt asked Stalin if the US could help the Soviets with anything. Stalin said yes – they would require 500,000 rubbers – all large. Roosevelt told that to Churchill later that night. Churchill said go ahead and do it – but stamp on each one, in English and Russian, “Texas Medium”.

  4. Chris C Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 10:51 am

    The soldiers also didn’t want to bring the dolls into combat for fear of embarrassment if they were captured by the enemy.

  5. proof Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Illustrating once again, the problem of inflation in Germany in WWII.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 11:15 am

    Otis – Nicely done.

    Chris C. – But the good news is that they could be used as flotation devices if the paratroopers made a water landing.

    Proof – You don’t want to know what they used for stagflation.

  7. DocRambo Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Actually, they were distributed on Wednesday, which is where the term “Humpday” comes from.

  8. Crusty Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    They were modeled after the Umpa-Lumpa girls. Each recruit was required to field strip his Umpa blindfolded. Led to a lot of premature ejaculation

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Doc – Well played, sir.

    Crusty – Well, they were the perfect height for a strapping young Aryan.

  10. Wes S. Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    And here I thought the Nazis were just a bunch of wankers…


  11. Ingineer66 Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    Wyatt, apparently you have discovered the bloggers secret to getting the funniest comments, talking about sex dolls and Nazi’s in the same post.

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 13th, 2011 at 8:22 pm

    Wes – No, they’re wackers.

    Ingineer66 – The jokes practically write themselves!

  13. richard mcenroe Says:
    July 14th, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    Achtung! Kinder! Iss Stretch Ilsa, the REAL action figure! You VILL ask your parents TODAY!