Recent Posts

Recent Comments


Cop Land

« Overnight Thread | Main | »

Are We Still Here?

By Wyatt Earp | May 21, 2011

Because, you know, I heard the world was going to end today. Well, either today or December 21st . . . or 2012. The date fluctuates whether you’re talking about the “Rapture” or the Mayan Apocalypse. Either way, I’m prepared. I ignored all of my bills – they can’t collect if the world ends – I wrote stories for the rest of the day, and I posted a photo of Mayan Mexican princess Salma Hayek.

So, if the world ends, it’s been fun and all. I do have a few confessions to make, however. I actually live in Philadelphia, Mississippi, the caption contests were rigged so the third comment always wins, and for six years this blog has been ghost-written by a super-intelligent marsupial with a penchant for fabulous babes. You don’t really think this drivel was penned by a human, do you?

Wyatt . . . out. Peace!

Topics: Babes, Snarkasm | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Are We Still Here?”

  1. ed Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 7:56 am

    OK, I can’t believe you would post a picture of that without a

    Seriously dude, if were gonna go out to the great unknown, let’s go out with that video being the last thing to rattle arround in our minds before the final lights out.

  2. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 8:05 am

    Okay, it’s 8:05 am. I thought that maybe I got left behind, but Ed’s still here too.

    Dammit, I knew I should have gone grocery shopping.

  3. Jon Brooks Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 9:22 am

    I decided to release my posionous spider and snake collection along with my six trained to kill pit bulls since I wouldn’t be here to take care of them anymore. Hold on.
    Knock at door. Is it God? Opps its animal control..BRB

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Ed – Sorry, I was preoccupied with my impending doom.

    Mrs. Crankipants – I want to see these idiot preachers explain themselves tomorrow.

    Jon – Let ‘em have it!

  5. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Harold Camping of Family Radio has hustled $70 million dollars out of his followers. I’m assuming a quick recalculation of the date will be made and the world not ending will be blamed on a mathematical error, similar to the stunt he pulled in 1994.

  6. realwest Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Howdy Wyatt! Well I’m still here (which comes as no surprise to me!) but, regrettably so is the dude who owns that magnificent Harley I’ve been admiring for a year or two now, so I guess it’s win some, lose some!

  7. Enano Siniestro Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Dammit, I’m still here. My neighbor is gone. No, wait, he’s back. I guess he was getting the paper.

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Mrs. Crankipants – Why can’t God just take him?

    Real – Damn. That would have been a nice score.

    Enano – Instead of the freight train to Hell. Dang. I guess the prophecy was incorrect.

  9. Kim Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    I thought it was 6:00pm EST. Or so I was told. We still have a few hours and I am still keeping an eye on the guns and ammo. Hubby has his eye on some ATVs and a gator. The children want horses. Hey, maybe we can raid the feed stores while we’re at it!

    Let’s see…. 6:00pm would be 5:00 here. So another 2.5 hours to go.

    I want to go around late tonight and place pairs shoes in church pews on the floor, then show up at church tomorrow along with everyone else.

    Yeah, I’m rotten. I blame Wyatt for corrupting me. I used to be sweet and innocent until I came across this blog.

  10. Fenway_Nation Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Actually, I think it would be half Mayan, half Lebanese and half Mexican princess Salma Hayek….

    Apparently Lebanon can churn out some stellar babes. More importantly, they don’t take it upon themselves to wear a freakin’ tent everywhere

  11. Dannytheman Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Now past 6 PM Eastern, and he failed AGAIN. His blinds are drawn and no one is answering his door.

    I did have a Filet Mignon Sandwich today though, just in case. But Heather Locklear never called me back. I hope to dodge the stalker charges..

  12. Robert B. Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    Weeeeellll, I waited until after six this evening to be sure, but it looks like the world is still the same. What do you bet that preacher “disappears” to make it look like he, and a few select cutie followers, were beamed up to heaven? More than likely, they’ll be found in the Carribbean, laying on a beach, drawing interest on the millions they scammed.

  13. Wes S. Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Quarter of six Kansas City time, and still no rapture.

    …I do have to wonder, though, about the oversized handbasket, smelling faintly of brimstone, that’s been cruising around my block…


  14. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 9:51 pm

    You’re all sinners!

    Oh well, Camping is 0-2 on predictions… 3rd times the charm? heh.

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 21st, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    Kim – It’s now 10:35pm (EDT). Zip. And apparently, the minister has gone underground to avoid the press. Go figure.

    Fenway – Holy schnikes!

    Danny – They’re a bear. Just ask Christina Hendricks’ legal team. They know me by name.

    Robert B. – But the donations helped pay their way to Heaven!

    Wes S. – Maybe it’s Phelps and his scumbags?

    Smite – Like I don’t know I’m a sinner . . .

  16. Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup » Pirate's Cove Says:
    May 22nd, 2011 at 10:51 am

    [...] Your Local Gunfighter visualizes Sarah Michelle Gellar’s new TV show. And asks if we are still here with Salma Hyack. Oh, and swimgerie has [...]