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Yeah, That Upcoming Superman Film?

By Wyatt Earp | April 5, 2011

Count me out.

Apparently, director Zach Snyder is interested in casting drunken, felonious coke whores to star alongside Henry Cavill and Amy Adams. Lindsay Lohan is rumored to be up for the role of a villain in the film, a villain that probably has Kryptonite in her va-jay-jay.

A source close to Lindsay Lohan said the troubled actress will audition for a role in director Zack Snyder’s upcoming “Superman” reboot this week.

“Lindsay plans to return from New York on Wednesday and meet with producers and read with an actor who is up for the role of Lex Luthor.”

Lohan, 24, would reportedly be reading for a role as a villain. That means she could be auditioning for the rule of Miss Teschmacher, Luthor’s sexy accomplice, played in the 1978 original by Valerie Perrine.

So, the original, the Bryan Singer reboot, and now the Zach Snyder reboot will all have basically the same plot and characters? Jeebus H. Vishnu, has Hollywood lost all of its originality?

Topics: Movies, People I Hate | 21 Comments »

21 Responses to “Yeah, That Upcoming Superman Film?”

  1. John D Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 7:27 am

    …has Hollywood lost all of its originality?

    Sadly, yes. Look for Charles in Charge: The Movie to be announced any day now. They’ll probably cast Charlie Sheen as Charles. Duh, winning!!!

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 8:14 am

    John D – Charles in Charge? You had better be joking.

  3. Jon Brooks Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Maybe they could do a movie on the woman who claimed..”I am American CIA and I have a radio in my head and I’m going to kill you all!” It has all the ingredients: women, CIA, killing, radios.

  4. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 9:17 am

    I thought she dropped the “Lohan” was just going by the name “Lindsay” now because of her drunken, felonious, coke whore father?

  5. Robert B. Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 9:21 am

    Hollywierd is all for forgiveness… providing the-to-be-forgiven is a libtwat. Let a conservative, or even someone who holds their political leanings to themslves, cross the line of decency and watch the PC gods jump on them like piranha.

  6. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 9:21 am

    TMZ said that she’s being offered the role of Sharon Tate in a movie about Charles Manson. Sharon Tate was gorgeous, Lindsay Lohan doesn’t come close. I’m thinking she’d be better cast as Squeaky Fromme.

  7. John D Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 9:22 am

    Charles in Charge? You had better be joking.

    I am, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

  8. GroovyVic Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 9:51 am

    She’s auditioning, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll get the part. And if the “casting couch” is still in use, I hardly think any self-respecting human would try to get Lindsay anywhere near it.

    But let me just say, no skanks around Henry Cavill!!!

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 10:20 am

    Jon – I saw that story. Definitely a Scientologist.

    Ferrell – Maybe the dad did that to get away from Lindsay?

    Robert B. – Yeah, they practically blacklisted the late Ron Silver.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Or Charlie Manson.

    John D – I know, that’s why I asked. I half-expected it to be true.

    GroovyVic – Yeah, she’ll obstruct his great ass, right?

  10. richard mcenroe Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Lyndsay Lohan to play Triplicate Girl? You thought the Black Swan Lesbian scene was hot? You ain’t seen nothing!

  11. Randal Graves Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Superman’s gay.

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Richard – I’d rather her play The Girl from Cell Block D.

    Randal – The tights were a dead giveaway, weren’t they?

  13. Dr. Evil Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    I think Lohan is up for a new villain role. A cleptomaniac named Fire Bush.

  14. Bob G. Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    There are PLENTY of OTHER superheroes to choose from, rather than re-re-re-REmake Superman.

    I’m holding out for Captain America and Green Lantern (personally).
    And, that AVENGERS movie.
    Then again…I’m such a damn purest…lol.


    Roll safe out there.

  15. Mark Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    “drunken, felonious coke whores”

    Now your just keyword trolling…. It worked.

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Dr. Evil – She’s getting that role in the next Bond film.

    Bob G. – Snyder is a great director, but this casting rumor is insane.

    Mark – Whoo hoo! And my parents said I’d never amount to anything!

  17. Dr. Evil Says:
    April 5th, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Perhaps u misread that title Wyatt. That’s the next Bond-age film!

  18. Picky Says:
    April 6th, 2011 at 1:27 am

    Here’s my two cents:

    I liked Miss Lohan in the first movie I saw her act: The Parent Trap. I thought she did pretty well.

    As she got older, she was cute, redhead, good actress, etc. Lots of potential to stay an A-lister for many years.

    Then she got drunk, started hanging out with Paris Hilton et al, and now I want nothing to do with her. I now put her in the same class as Tom Cruise or Leo DiCrapio: The movie would definitely have been better without that particular actor, but I might still see it. Seriously, one of them being in the movie has the power to take my reaction from “I can’t WAIT to see that movie” all the way down to “meh. I might Redbox it.”

  19. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 6th, 2011 at 8:10 am

    Dr. Evil – Giggity! I’m in!

    Picky – I’m like that with Ben Affleck. I won’t see a film that he is in. I can’t stand him, but I also think he’s a terrible actor. Similarly, I can take Matt Damon in small doses. The Bourne films are great, and that’s about it.

  20. Picky Says:
    April 6th, 2011 at 9:22 am

    Wyatt – Not even Gigli? ;-)

  21. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 8th, 2011 at 8:44 am

    Picky - Especially Gigli!