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Monica Lewinsky: Still In Love With Bubba

By Wyatt Earp | March 12, 2011

Speaking of psychos . . . Monica’s back!

Bill Clinton’s former intern Monica Lewinsky has not got married or had children because she is reportedly still in love with him and ‘always will be’. Miss Lewinsky, 37, has run a successful business, hosted a reality television show and moved overseas – but has never found love.

‘Monica still hasn’t got over Bill and would take him back in a second,’ a friend said. ‘She told me: “There will never be another man in my life that could make me as happy as he did”,’ the friend told the National Enquirer magazine.

So, this woman has spent the last 15 years spurning others and watching her ovaries dry up because she was pining for Bill Clinton? Yeah, that’s smart. Listen Monica, you’re not “in love” with Bubba; you’re infatuated with him. And when infatuations last 15 years, it’s time to consult a psychiatrist.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 20 Comments »

20 Responses to “Monica Lewinsky: Still In Love With Bubba”

  1. Dustyvet Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    “It seems Monica Lewinsky is on the loose again, teaming up with HBO to do a documentary about her affair with Bill Clinton. It’s not really a documentary. It will be more of an oral history.” —Jay Leno

  2. GroovyVic Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Nah, she’s just in love with that cigar.

  3. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Sweetie, if you didn’t get an invite to Chelsea’s wedding, chances are he’s forgotten about you. He’s moved on, so should you. It was beyond foolish of Bill to get a hummer from a dumbass 21 year old intern who doesn’t grasp the basic concept of discretion. Let’s hope he’s learned his lesson and is more discerning, although he may not be putting his presidential seal in as many places as one of his Democratic predecessors “Ich Bin Ein Playa”.

  4. GroovyVic Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Plus she got a stain on her dress. I mean really…did she know what she was doing?

  5. Rho Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    Let’s be positive, kids–at least her gene pool (stupidity-sluttiness-and really bad taste) will not be propagated.

  6. bob (either orr) Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Whoring for fun and profit, eh?

  7. Dannytheman Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Q. What is the difference between Monica Lewinsky and a vacuum cleaner?
    A. Where the dirt bag attaches.

  8. Watuschski Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    That fat, dowdy slut should just shut up!

  9. Old NFO Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    She’s STILL on his power trip…

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Dustyvet – Can’t knock some good word of mouth.

    GroovyVic – She knows she can buy more of them, right?

    Mrs. Crankipants – A least we can be sure Obama isn’t doing this. What woman would have him?

    GroovyVic – Some women just can’t handle their liquor.

    Rho – Good point. No one to carry on the family tradition.

    Bob – But mostly for fun.

    Danny – Well crafted.

    Watuschski – Eh, she’s less fat now.

    Old NFO – Did you say trip or tip?

  11. JT Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    At then risk of sounding cynical……

    Once you’ve had a taste of power, it’s tough to return to the hummmmmmm-drum of everyday life.

  12. Robert B. Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Monica was heard saying, in reference to their affair, that the whole thing blew up in her face, and it left a bad taste in her mouth.

  13. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    Monica: Still in love with Slick Willie whom digraced the office of POTUS??

    Get a dog.

  14. Crusty Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    When Monica was living in England she was called a humming Bird. She has the possibility of billions if she set up a brothel in Nevada. That would be must stop and her intake would be record setting

  15. Crusty Says:
    March 12th, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    Love to have the cigar concession at Monica’s brothel another must insert stop on your Vegas trip

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 13th, 2011 at 9:39 am

    JT – Monica is now ruined for regular guys.

    Robert B. – And stained her reputation.

    Ferrell – A dog probably has more morals than Clinton.

    Crusty – What happens in Monica stays in (and on) Monica.

  17. ed Says:
    March 14th, 2011 at 8:35 am

    Monica Lewinsky: Still In Love With Bubba


    Behold the power of the Alpha male.

    Decades later and she still pines for him!

    Anybody here a fan of Ann Coulter?


    Well, I am. That chick rocks. However…

    The dumbest thing I ever heard her say was that Bill Clinton had some sort of gay vibe to him. I can’t exactly remember exactly how it went, but she said all his affairs were evidence that he was
    Ann… stop.

    Look, Bill is the quintessential “horn dog.” A straight man’s straight man. How she could think he was gay is beyond me.

    Look, a gay man might, MIGHT be able to have sex with a woman like Audrey Hepburn. Because she is thin and glamorous. And if you close your eyes, you can pretend that you are balls deep in Jake Gynethall.

    But no gay man could have sex with a chick like Monica. Because those giant fun bags of hers would be smacking him in the face the whole time and just ruining the illusion.

    And lets face it. One thing about Monica is that she isn’t the most… elegant of women.

    So. Bill Clinton… a guy who will risk everything to have tawdry sex with a dumpy woman with a big can.

    Yeah… this guy’s a total hetero horndog.

    By the way… Monica? Call me.

  18. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 14th, 2011 at 8:49 am

    Ed – Absolutely agree. Bill is as gay as I am. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Anyone seriously considering the man’s sexuality needs their head examined. And I think Monica looks pretty doable in that pic.

  19. JT Says:
    March 14th, 2011 at 12:27 pm


    After a relaxing bath…Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror…

    Her complete frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her….

    In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help…So she knelt down and started to pray……..


    If you take away my love handles, I’ll devote the rest of my life to you,’

    And just like that…

    Her ears fell off…

  20. cindy Says:
    June 7th, 2011 at 12:42 am

    Man, if I knew it was that easy to blow a president, I would have done it long ago. I’d be famous and rich by now.