Archive for March, 2011
« Previous EntriesIt’s Time For Hitler’s Playhouse!
Thursday, March 31st, 2011I wonder if there is a German version of Pee Wee Herman, because this house is right up his alley. Yeah, that pun was intended. This house, located in Wales, has recently been the center of attention. Why? Because the locals seem to think the house bears a striking resemblance to Nazi madman Adolf Hitler. [...]
Folding Faster Than Superman On Laundry Day
Thursday, March 31st, 2011That’s your new and improved “fiscally-conservative” GOP. Sources tell me that budget negotiators on Capitol Hill have tentatively agreed on a deal that would involve at least $33 billion in spending cuts from this year’s budget. That’s $23 billion dollars more than Democrats have previously agreed to in short-term continuing resolutions, and $28 billion less [...]
Happy Birthday, Randal Graves
Thursday, March 31st, 2011Ooo baby, one more year and he joins the 40 Club! That’s gonna be sweet. Randal, for those of you not in the know, is my younger brother. He got the good looks, the smarts, and the athletic ability. I got the bigger bedroom. So, it all evened out. I wasn’t sure what to post [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011Today I highlight a genius of American firearms: Samuel Colt. The idea seems obvious enough: Rotate a gun’s bullets in a cylinder so that one bullet at a time lines up with the gun barrel and the firing mechanism. This would let you fire quickly. But consider a couple of things: You really want only [...]
Hellooooo, Frisco!
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011Fitness guru Richard Simmons is back with a vengeance. And sadly, he is bringing his skimpy shorts with him. Simmons is now doing the in-flight safety instructions for Air New Zealand. Because people pay special attention to the safety instructions when there’s a chance they can see someone’s junk. Simmons stars in Air New Zealand’s [...]
Old Bats Need Lovin’, Too
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011And for Laura Vikmanis, that lovin’ comes in the form of a movie deal. The NFL’s oldest cheerleader just scored a movie deal with New Line. Laura Vikmanis shakes pom poms and does high kicks at the ripe old age of 42 for the Cincinnati Bengals. A team so bad the last couple of years [...]
Ivy Leaguers: Not So Smart
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011Meet Rachel Anne Hachero. The 17-year old Florida girl must be the pride of her high school. She’s pretty, she’s intelligent, and she now has an impressive criminal history. Why, you ask? Because she really wanted her own car. She wanted one so badly that she pistol-whipped her mother before forcing her into the family [...]
Chuck Schumer Is A Corrupt Idiot
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011Senator Chuck Schumer (IDIOT – NY) was found coordinating a “spontaneous” attack on the GOP with fellow Democrat senators today. He did this via conference call. Unfortunately, this MENSA member didn’t check to see if the reporters were listening in first. Way to go, moron. Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., a member of the Democratic Senate [...]
Baconalia Is Upon Us!
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011We who are about to break our diets salute you! As many of you bacon fanatics already know Denny’s Restaurant has launched their first ever bacon event called Baconalia! Proving that Denny’s is so committed to doing bacon right that they invited some experts down to their headquarters to try out their new menu, and [...]
Maria Scirillo Crowned Miss Philadelphia
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011Really? This is the best my town can put forth? Look, I don’t mean to be a dink, but a Miss Philadelphia hasn’t been crowned Miss Pennsylvania since there was a Republican in City Hall. That’s 71 years. Now, Scirillo may be a nice person, and she may be a great singer, but she is [...]
« Previous Entries