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Hellooooo, Frisco!

By Wyatt Earp | March 30, 2011

Fitness guru Richard Simmons is back with a vengeance. And sadly, he is bringing his skimpy shorts with him.

Simmons is now doing the in-flight safety instructions for Air New Zealand. Because people pay special attention to the safety instructions when there’s a chance they can see someone’s junk.

Simmons stars in Air New Zealand’s latest attempt at humor, their in-flight safety demo. In his go-to voice, Simmons asks passengers to “stretch it up” to put their carry-on bags overhead. The poor exercise mavens in the video act out everything from putting on oxygen masks to inflatable baby life preservers.

Maybe al Qaeda can fly Richard’s plane into a building. What? Too soon?

Topics: WTF? | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “Hellooooo, Frisco!”

  1. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I never could and still can’t understand how portraying human beings as total fools became such a universally accepted way of selling a product. But hey, that’s just me I guess….

  2. Picky Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    In another age, Richard Simmons would be the most popular inmate at the asylum.

  3. Dustyvet Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Gives a whole new meaning to “Kiwi Fruit”…

    I have a Kiwi Lady friend whom gave me no end of verbal nonsense when my home state of Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura…Now Air New Zealand does this…Get backs are a b****!!!…:)

  4. Dustyvet Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Naked 737 Stewardess Safety Tips Ad from Air New Zealand

    This one is a hell of a lot more “ahem” more FUN…:)

  5. Dustyvet Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Richard Simmon’s short are made by the “Fruit of The Loom Company”?????????….

  6. metoo Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    See someone’s junk..not without a magnifying glass and tweezers.

  7. BlackOrchid Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    They’re still my favorite airline.

    No really! They are awesome. Really comfy, wonderful stewardpeople, just a great airline all around. I can overlook the silly video – everyone is bored by that rigamorole anyways

    he looks pretty good for like 100 years old

  8. Dannytheman Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    I pull on my Bose noise cancelling headphones as soon as my butt hits the seat. I never listen to anything the say.
    I am usual asleep by take off.

  9. Picky Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    I agree with BlackOrchid and Dannytheman. Anybody that has flown at least four or five times doesn’t pay attention to the safety talk. We could probably give it: loss of cabin pressure…oxygen mask…put yours on first. Know where your exit is. Don’t get up when the seat belt light is on. Oh, and then the useless stuff: Your seat cushion can be used for flotation. Which is great news when you’re flying over Colorado.

  10. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    March 30th, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    No white boy on the planet can rock a ‘fro like Richard!

  11. richard mcenroe Says:
    March 31st, 2011 at 12:11 am

    My favorite airline safety speech was on Delta one New Year’s Eve, when the flight crew really just didn’t give a rat’s ass… The stew got to the bit where the little masks drop out of the overhead, and says, “After you stop screaming, pull the mask over your face…”

  12. GroovyVic Says:
    March 31st, 2011 at 5:24 am

    Wyatt, you need a pair of shorts like that. Really.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 31st, 2011 at 8:02 am

    Ferrell – From the looks of the outfits, they filmed this spot in 1983.

    Picky – And very popular in D-Block.

    Dusty – Depends upon the naked, but that naked is definitely more appealing.

    MeToo – OUCH! Tough crowd!

    Orchid – Yeah, I think he went to high school with the real Wyatt Earp.

    Danny – I used to do that. Then I had kids.

    Picky – I try to use the stewardess’ boobs as flotation devices. Usually gets me slapped.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Napoleon Dynamite comes a close second.

    Richard – See? Now that’s funny!

    GroovyVic – Trust me, my junk is not meant for public viewing . . . without a microscope.