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Woman Arrested For “Weapons” Possession

By Wyatt Earp | November 17, 2010

Ya know, I have been a police officer/detective for sixteen years, and made more than a handful of weapons offenses. I have also seen a lot of odd and disturbing things.

That being said, I have never come across the perfect storm of oddity and nudity that these Illinois officers experienced.

Vicki K. Myers, 44, originally from Texas but living at the hotel on the 1600 block of Diehl Road, initially told police she was changing in the van when officers spotted her naked from the waist up at 9:45 p.m. Friday night, Sgt. Gregg Bell of the Naperville Police Department said.

However, the woman admitted to police she had gone to the van to touch herself, leaving her three children in the hotel room, Bell said. He also said police discovered “adult items” in the van. Myers also told police she had a loaded semiautomatic pistol under the seat, Bell said. (H/T – Ferrell Gummitt)

In her defense, she was just practicing sight alignment and breathing control.

Topics: Gun Pr0n, The Job | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Woman Arrested For “Weapons” Possession”

  1. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    I assume the Darwin Award recipient and her Mensa nipples didn’t have tinted windows. Shouldn’t she have been bottomless instead of topless?

  2. Kim Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 2:43 pm


  3. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Remember the second amendment does not cover sexual devices, unless they can used as weapons of self defense, not just self satisfaction.

    Was she listening to: “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”?

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    I’m pretty sure it was “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves”.

  5. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Flying solo doesn’t bother her, too bad she got caught buzzing the neighborhood.

  6. Jon Brooks Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    The Fuzz also heard the Buzz.

  7. Old NFO Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    Well, at least she wasn’t doing it in front of her kids… sigh…

  8. hutch1200 Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    I hate driving through parking lots and seeing naked women pleasuring themselves. Makes me want to…gotta go

  9. RogerDee Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    What, no bathroom in the motel room?

  10. Kim Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    Any mother knows that the bathroom is the place you go where you want the least amount of privacy.

  11. Robert B. Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    She was confused about the Second Amendment. It says the right to keep and bear arms… not the right to bare boobs.

  12. Wes S. Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 12:46 am

    Ferell, Mrs. Cranki: I’ll put my money on Divinyl’s “I Touch Myself” for background music. ;)

    …It’s a really good thing she didn’t get her…toys…confused, especially with a loaded gun within reach…

  13. Dixie Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Makes me want to…gotta go

    I’ll be in my bunk.

  14. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    Ahhhh a firefly fan. :)

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – Maybe she needed to be unencumbered and liked to go all nude?

    Kim – Yeah.

    Ferrell – Probably listening to Deep Purple.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Eh, you’re sharper than I am today.

    DL474 – At least she wasn’t buzzing a grade school.

    Jon – Our ears are attuned to disturbances in the Force.

    Old NFO – Yeah, some brownie points there.

    Hutch1200 – Wear your seat belt and take clean underwear!

    Roger – None with soundproof walls.

    Kim – Right again!

    Robert B. – Yeah, that was struck down by John Hancock.

    Wes S. – Yeah, who needs a bigger entry wound?

    Dixie – Enjoy!

    DL474 – It is such a classic phrase.

  16. comatus Says:
    November 18th, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Fun with word origins:
    “Weapon” comes from the Anglo-Saxon word for “penis.”

    Sheds a different light on a lot of things, doesn’t it?