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Most Ingenious Suicide . . . Evah!

By Wyatt Earp | September 18, 2010

You know, I am not the brightest guy on the planet. In fact, I am probably the last person you want investigating your crime. That being said, this story does not pass the smell test – unless the guy is Harry Houdini.

The lovely and talented Robbie sent me this story, and I am still scratching my head in wonder.

According to a report from the LA Times, of the dead man found in the restroom, airport police were summoned to the men’s room early Wednesday morning and discovered a grisly scene. In a restroom in Terminal 3, detectives from the homicide division discovered an unresponsive man slumped over in a stall. There, they found a dead man with his hands bound, and a bag covering his head.

The police did not release any information about the man found dead in the restroom at Lax, except that the death appeared to be a suicide. However, the entire case file and investigation has been turned over to the Los Angeles County Coroner who will determine the true cause of death.

So his hands are bound, there’s a bag over his head, and the police immediately think suicide? Sorry Dick Tracy, but I think a few more questions need to be asked.

Topics: The Job | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “Most Ingenious Suicide . . . Evah!”

  1. RT Says:
    September 18th, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Kind of like the biker who shot himself in the back of the head after hitting a deer.

    This one is a stinker, for sure.

  2. Kim Says:
    September 18th, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    He put a bag over his head, taped around the neck, and quickly handcuffed his hands behind his back to prevent last minute survival instincts from saving him.

    I think I’ve read too much Stephen King.

  3. Jason Says:
    September 18th, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    I mean it is Coll-eee-forn-ya. It could be an assisted suicide….

  4. proof Says:
    September 18th, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    Was this men’s room in LAX or Fort Marcy park?
    Just askin’!

  5. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:59 am

    HA! Jason’s comment FTW!

  6. ed Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:17 am

    Errr… OK, let me take a swing at this.

    First, could this have something to do with Jurisdiction? I mean, in Down Town LA, they have solid homicide detectives. Same as Philly, or any big city.

    But who is responsible for the LA airport? It says “airport police.” If they aren’t really set up to do crime scene investigations because they don’t have the trained personel to deal with it… is is possible they just said “ah, to hell with it. Call it a suicide and let’s just wash our hands of it.”?

    Second, when the Kung Fu Carradine guy died of auto-asphyxiation, just like that INXCS singer, all the media beat around the bush about what had really happened. No one wants to say “some sex freak went too far and passed away in some really, really freaky way.”

    Any chance that is happening here? Rather than say “the guy was a little freaky”, they put out a more “sanitized” version. Maybe to keep from hurting the next of kin?

  7. ThomasF Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:43 am

    We have our own geniuses (geni?) here in Illannoying…..

    Bring two pipe bombs ya know in case the first one is only a flesh wound…..

  8. Deputy Polarbear Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:22 am

    This could be a couple of things……his hands were tied with zip ties, so he may have put the bag over his head, and then zip tied his hands…….and you arent getting zip ties off anytime fast, no matter how desperate you are…

    Another is *ahem* ‘death by misadventure’ as a couple of others have pointed out.

    The investigation will be handled by LAPD and the LA County Coroner……LAXPD doesnt handle any homicides or death investigations to the best of my knowledge….

  9. Picky Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:57 am

    House of Sand and Fog had a scene where someone kills himself with a plastic bag duct taped to their head (I remember who, but am not saying due to spoilers).

    I don’t remember if the character had their hands tied or not. I think it would be possible (as others have said), but I agree with you, Wyatt. Suicide wouldn’t be my first thought.

  10. RT Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 8:43 am

    Where is Jessica Fletcher when you need her?

  11. Jon Brooks Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Just as there are cases of…ahem…auto eroticism, this is plainly a case of aircraft eroticism.

  12. Rick Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:13 am

    Sounds like a numbers runner killed in Fla. years ago.
    He was chained to cement blocks,stabbed in the heart and shot three time in the back of the head.The coroner ruld it a suicide.

  13. proof Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:19 am

    aircraft eroticism

    Poor fellow didn’t have the chance to fly United, eh? Don’t Lear!

  14. richard mcenroe Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    You know, the LAX men’s rooms just don’t stink that bad…

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    RT – I still think the PA State Police is getting a warrant for the deer.

    Kim – I think Geroge W. Bush did it.

    Jason – I wonder where Larry Craig was at the time?

    Proof – There’s a difference?

    Ed – Your second thought was probably more correct. May have been something freaky, and they wanted to spare feelings.

    Thomas F – Oh for crying out loud!

    Polarbear – Wasn’t sure, but thanks for the confirmation on the jurisdiction.

    Picky – At least not your first thought.

    RT – Is she still alive?

    Jon – And he didn’t even get his pack of peanuts.

    Rick – Probably went to Harvard to get that smart.

    Richard – Never been there, but I’ll take your word for it.

  16. Robbie Says:
    September 20th, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Your commenter’s did this one justice ! LMAO !

  17. Aaron Says:
    September 20th, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    LA’s finest not wanting to hurt the feelings of the dead man. They didn’t want to steal credit from him by calling it a homicide.