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Chicago’s Cathleen Miller: Party Mom

By Wyatt Earp | July 20, 2010

Are you an awkward teenager in the Illinois area? Are you incredibly horny but without a release? Do you like older broads? Are you open to conjugal visits? If you answered yes to any of these questions, do we have the woman for you!

You think the winds blow in Chicago? Check this chick out:

Chicago Ridge officials are not commenting after a village employee was charged with holding parties at her home where she allegedly sexually assaulted four teenage boys while providing them marijuana and alcohol.

Cathleen M. Miller, 40, of the 5800 block of West 109th Street in Chicago Ridge, is charged with three counts of criminal sexual assault and one count of criminal sexual abuse, according to Cook County State’s Attorney’s office spokesman Andy Conklin. At the Bridgeview courthouse on Tuesday, Miller was ordered held on $900,000 bond, he said.

Miller had intercourse with two of the teens, oral sex with a third and fondled a fourth, according to prosecutors, who said the boys were friends with Miller’s teenage daughter.

Classy. It’s bad enough this woman was having sex with teenage boys, but did she have to do it with her daughter’s friends? Go find your own teenagers, lady!

Topics: Snarkasm | 19 Comments »

19 Responses to “Chicago’s Cathleen Miller: Party Mom”

  1. Robert B. Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 8:45 am

    She reminds me of that “Cougar Barbie” video.

  2. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 9:00 am

    The common thread of your female felon posts- they all have over plucked eyebrows.

    Really, how good could it have been? A 40 year old woman having sex with teenagers, who in all likelihood need an OnStar service rep to get within a stone’s throw of her erogenous zone.

    Enjoy prison Sweetheart!

  3. Sally Anne Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 9:25 am


  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Robert B – Heh.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Imagine that commercial. “I took a wrong turn at the vulva. OnStar, can you get me back on track?”

    Sally Anne – Pretty slimy, but I doubt the teenagers cared.

  5. Robbie Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 9:50 am

    She should be charged with emotionally abusing her poor daughter. What a skanktard ! Seriously ? I, personally, prefer to play with kids my own age.

  6. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 9:54 am

    The only thing that doesn’t surprise me about this story is that she didn’t have the parties and do the nasty with the underaged kids on the Village of Chicago Ridge’s time.

    Her defense probably was either that at least she didn’t let the boys drive home stoned and drunk or she was providing a service for all the local teenage boys by giving them their first sex experience.

    I say she gets 3 to 5 years at the woman’s dorm in Lincoln, IL.

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Robbie – Good news for me! (Oh, I’ve said too much.)

    Ferrell – If that. It’s Illinois, remember.

  8. Ingineer66 Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 10:42 am

    After a joint and a six pack she probably doesn’t look half bad. Seriously if she just wanted to get laid she could have gone to any bar in town and found all the willing ADULT males she could handle.

  9. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 10:58 am

    oh Mrs. Robinson… you never visited me as a kid!

  10. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 10:59 am

    dang it.. meant to italicize “me”. heh.

  11. John D Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Back when I was 14, the girls my age were only interested in older boys. Little did I know I might’ve had a shot with their moms.

  12. metoo Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 11:19 am

    Thanks for including the picture, Wyatt. It helped to confirm that the only way this woman (I use the term loosely) is seeing any action is if she gets someone drunk, high, sloppy or all three. Why on earth would she ever think she’s a MLF? Has she looked in the mirror?

  13. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 11:42 am

    OnStar:”Go south, don’t stop, don’t stop!”

  14. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 11:43 am

    As a former resident of the People’s Democratic Republic and CPD child sex and abuse investigator this happens constantly. Most teen boys keep it to themselves.

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Ingineer66 – Waiting for Captain America to say, “I’d hit it.”

    Smite – Coo coo ca choo.

    John D – Most of my girlfriend’s moms weren’t that MILFy.

    MeToo – In fairness, that looks like a mug shot. Three hours in a makeup chair probably does wonders.

    Mrs. Crankipants – “Slow down and speed up as needed.”

    LDIV – Just follow the giggling and the bragging.

  16. Robert B. Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Wyatt, check your inbox. You may want to post it and share the mysery.

  17. Crazy Politico Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    How many of the the teenage boys are actually complaining? Really. they are all happy as hell. They all have bragging rights.

    Her daughter will be messed up for years though, trying to get her boobs to sag like Mom’s so her male friends will notice her.

  18. bob (either orr) Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    Cougar. Pure and simple.

  19. Jon Brooks Says:
    July 21st, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    When I grew up and looked at the toys that kids had after me I said..”Why didn’t they have toys like that when I was a kid?”

    I now can say…”Why didn’t they have cougars like that whenI was a kid?”