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The SYLG News Translator: Obama Edition

By Wyatt Earp | June 28, 2010

The SYLG News Translator has been on the shelf for a while, but I think it’s necessary here. The Translator takes a news story (in block-quotes) and translates it into a no b.s. assessment by yours truly (in bold).

This week’s topic is President Obama’s comments at the end of the G20 talks:

US President Barack Obama on Sunday said that countries must not have any “undue advantage” if the world is to build a strong and durable economic recovery.

US President Barack Obama on Sunday confirmed voters’ suspicions that he has socialist tendencies.

“A strong and durable recovery also requires countries not having an undue advantage,” Obama told journalists at the end of G20 talks in Canada.

Comrade Obama said countries must “reign in their robust economies to make loser countries like Greece feel better about their squandered Gross Domestic Product.”

“So we also discussed the need for currencies that are market-driven,” he added, welcoming China’s decision to let its yuan float more freely against the dollar.

“Let me be clear. The Chinese own us like Siegfried owns Roy, and if they want to run the yuan against the dollar, we’ll bend over and take it.”

Hope that cleared the story up for everyone.

Topics: News Translator | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “The SYLG News Translator: Obama Edition”

  1. metoo Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 10:10 am

    You have a unique and wonderful way with the English language. Thanks for making my Monday.

  2. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 10:52 am

    Aren’t we supposed to yell..”Thank you sir! May I have one more!” also?

  3. AJ Lynch Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 11:20 am

    Fellow Peon Wyatt:
    Report imediately for re-education! Have you forgotten we are a gluttonous, wasteful people. Does President Obama need to remind you “we are only 2% of the world’s population but we use 20% of its energy”! And turn in all your energy using wasteful gadgets when you get here!

  4. Ralph Short Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    When he was running for office and saw a bumper sticker supporting him, I just got angry. Now, when I see it, knowing he has been a total failure and Marxist at heart, I still get angry but feel like a barf bag should be handy.

    There is also a another chapter in the continuing saga of the Reverend Wright (the loose cannon who Obama worshiped with, was married by, and had his children baptized by). Here is the link to it.

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    MeToo – You’re welcome. It’s what Obama wanted to say but didn’t have the nerve to do so.

    Jon – While bending over, I suppose.

    AJ – When some of these loser countries get phone and electrical lines, I’ll cut back.

    Ralph – When I see those stickers, I just giggle.

  6. Dixie Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    Dear Leader equalize United Badstates with enlightened world, opposed by doubleplusungood right-wing non-right-thinkers.

  7. Ingineer66 Says:
    June 28th, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    I think all countries next to an ocean have an undue advantage for shipping their goods around the world. Therefore to make it fair, all nations will now have to ship their goods through land locked countries like Afghanistan, Paraguay or Mongolia.